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Is it selfish to make yourself a cup of tea in someone else's house and not ask if anyone else wants something?

My mum and I are visiting my grandparents...
They have always been kind to us to the point where they would bring us tea and biscuits to have in bed for years.
Anyways as they're now in their 80s they're tired and have a lot of aches and pains so much so they don't do what they used to.
My grandparents always say we shouldn't as for what we want if its in the house...
But I've noticed that my mum will make herself a cup of tea and she will never ask if anyone else wants one.
Or she will offer to do something and find a way to get out of doing it.
Or knowing my grandparents like the house so tidy, leave the cup she's been drinking from somewhere and walk off and forget about it.

Yesterday my grandmother asked if one of us could help with dinner, I had made the tea and done breakfast so I looked to mum. And she turned away... In the end she did cook but she kept calling my grandmother out to help her find things around the kitchen.

😔
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cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
I always ask even at home. Why heat water for tea if you don’t ask everyone else.?
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@cherokeepatti in this economic crisis. Ha..
She might have been pissed at me because I went out to walk Bruno at 6.45am trying to maintain consistency despite being somewhere new. Anyways when we returned he had his breakfast and I would make myself a cup of tea. As my grandparents were up I wouldn't even ask if just make them a tea and bring them a couple of biscuits.
They sang my praise about it.
Unfortunately knowing who my mum is I didn't dare disturb her sleep for tea.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@Mellowgirl well I wouldn’t wake someone up to ask but would ask everyone else. I have two teapots and can make two different kinds at the same time