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Mildly AdultUpset
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Why are people so tired of hearing about my late mother abandoning me?

Some said they’ve been patient with me but they lost it when they scolded at me for bringing it up. My dad got tired of hearing about it and didn’t let me dwell on it and swallow in my self pity. He would get in my face and scold at me to stop talking about it and he refuses to let me bring it up and fall down. Damn dad you didn’t had to be so tough with me.
Even my siblings were tired of hearing about it and my best friends. People walk away from me when I bring it up.
She left me when I was 7 because she didn’t wanna deal with a special needs child and wanted a “normal” child. It left my dad heartbroken and would hostile sometimes when I being it up. I got told to “walk away” when I bring it up. My sister said, “Sometimes we have to be a little mean or raise our voice for you to get the point. Sometimes it’s the only way to get a point across don’t listen to us. It’s frustrating.”

My now ex best friends said before that it’s impossible to have positive fun conversations with me because all I would talk about is my bitch of a mother that wanted nothing to do with me. I yelled at them but they shot back and said, “Well it’s TRUE!!!” I yelled again but they didn’t respond.

I feel like people are more harder, brutally blunt and STERN with me because I’m autistic.
SW-User
When your mother left, you experienced a break in attachment from your primary caregiver and now it's likely that you have psychological trauma that you need to work through.
Maybe you could try seeing a therapist who specialises in trauma and attachment issues?
Friends and family are not the people who can help you , they don't know what to say or do to help you work through it and it makes them feel uncomfortable so they want to avoid talking about it. It's probably best to accept their wishes and try to focus on the positive things that are happening in your life RIGHT NOW so that you strengthen relationships with these people.
I was always taught to meet people on the level they are at 'right now' and not to try and meet them on the level you wish they were at. It's been good advice. Xx
Redstar · 36-40, M
It happened over 10 years ago and you're still choosing to wallow in self pity. That's the reason. It makes perfect sense that people would be beyond over that by now. You can still be sad about it but it's been over a decade, it's time to move on but it seems like you're not even trying to.
Can you understand why it wouldn't be fun to hang out with someone that only ever mopes around and talks about the same thing all the time, especially when that thing is someone who abandoned them? Someone that didn't want you isn't worth spending so much time thinking about and they know that. Especially for 10 years....
They're not treating you this way because of Autism, it's because of how long it's been. When my mum (who is neurotypical) had cancer, people got tired of hearing about it after only a few months, even though she was still going through it. But it's been a lot longer for you and them.
It's clear that you've already fallen down, so it's time to pick yourself back up.
Ask yourself this: Do you still want to be feeling like this in another 10 years?
SW-User
People dont understand how you feel , or maybe hearing about it reminds them too much of their own losess in life. Or maybe your hanging around the wrong people or maybe they dont know how to react to what your telling them or what to say. And I dont mean to sound harsh but are you leaning too heavy on your friends ? Maybe save it and ask them before bringing it up again because maybe its getting an bit too much for them to keep listening too especially if they have an lot of problems of their own and maybe dont have the energy to listen to it yet. Maybe it also hurts your siblings you keep bringing it up as they might be trying to move past it or forget about it and being reminded of it is maybe too painful for them. Sit them down and ask them how they feel and if they have anything they want to talk about. In friendships you give and take.
LaylaTheTallGirl · 22-25, F
@SW-User so my feelings don’t even matter anymore?!

 
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