I wish I had a shot of whiskey!

Maybe half a bottle but I can't drink.

I hate myself sometimes. Why am I like this?

I don't really trust others and if I can't even trust myself who can I trust?

I hurt myself again even when I knew better!

I dislike being in this position yet I still put myself here again.

After everything I've been through.

I know though that time does indeed heal things but it's just unpleasant having to wait it out.

Perhaps I don't deserve anything after all but to be vanished and extinguished once and for all.

Because I have nothing good to offer. I'm full of rot, misery, ugliness and pure dirt.