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OogieBoogie · F
OogieBoogie · F
@popmol im not saying that 'style' of relationship is the bad thing , its the ignorant expectaions of it tjat are hinged on very fragile threads.
Yes, this dynamic is doable. But only when its a deliberate negotiation with fail safes. And entered into with knowledge and mental equality .
If one enters this dynamic thinking itll never change, nothing will break , then its foolish .
The dominant person needs to be aware that the responsibility, or life, might break them in the future - and be emotinally prepared to be dependent .
And the dependent needs to be smart enough and strong enougn to take on the role of provider, if need be.
If life breaks your dependee, what do you think happens?
A back rub and a good dinner isnt going to fix their problems .
In fact , the pressure of all they control falling to pieces can cause them to get angry that after all their providing for you , cant be reciprocated .
And they get very pissed off about it.
Yes, this dynamic is doable. But only when its a deliberate negotiation with fail safes. And entered into with knowledge and mental equality .
If one enters this dynamic thinking itll never change, nothing will break , then its foolish .
The dominant person needs to be aware that the responsibility, or life, might break them in the future - and be emotinally prepared to be dependent .
And the dependent needs to be smart enough and strong enougn to take on the role of provider, if need be.
If life breaks your dependee, what do you think happens?
A back rub and a good dinner isnt going to fix their problems .
In fact , the pressure of all they control falling to pieces can cause them to get angry that after all their providing for you , cant be reciprocated .
And they get very pissed off about it.
popmol · 22-25, M
@OogieBoogie well i could onyl provide support!
OogieBoogie · F
@popmol exactly .
So what do you think happens then if you cant hold onto thier responsibilities for them?
It all falls to pieces :
Which do you think is the most fragile, vulnerable component in this equation, the controlling one or the dependent one?
And who has the abilty to pick themselves up after it all goes to shit?
It may be your dream. But i truly suggest getting yourself a safety net for your ideal.
And dont expect that all you need to be is a nice soft landing for them, otherwize you might end up a nice soft punching bag .
Strong dominant people dont get where they do by being nice guys.
They know its either they go down, or someone else does.
Life isn't a fantasy .
It can be , but only if you're prepared to go out of your comfort zone to fight for it.
So what do you think happens then if you cant hold onto thier responsibilities for them?
It all falls to pieces :
Which do you think is the most fragile, vulnerable component in this equation, the controlling one or the dependent one?
And who has the abilty to pick themselves up after it all goes to shit?
It may be your dream. But i truly suggest getting yourself a safety net for your ideal.
And dont expect that all you need to be is a nice soft landing for them, otherwize you might end up a nice soft punching bag .
Strong dominant people dont get where they do by being nice guys.
They know its either they go down, or someone else does.
Life isn't a fantasy .
It can be , but only if you're prepared to go out of your comfort zone to fight for it.
popmol · 22-25, M
@OogieBoogie haha i don't mind being a punching bag its an issue i have i know. but yeah i know if i'm dependant i won't be the issue but they would be!
popmol · 22-25, M
@OogieBoogie I understand all your concerns but its still a dream of mine! and if i can make it happen i will!
OogieBoogie · F
@popmol life isnt a fantasy .
Thats what im warning you about .
People CAN do it , but only of youre prepared for it .
And this is the point im making.
A submissive isnt just this passive receiver, they need to be on the ball, smart , ready to jump in at a moments notice and hold the reigns.
You need the abilty to have their 6, gather in all the pieces when shit falls apart .
If neither party is aware of this , then you have NO IDEA how ugly it gets .
All that passion and love gets turned to hate, anger and depression .
A union with such a tight dynamic becomes destructive in ways, i can guarantee you dont understand .
But heres a concept you need to understand : when you let someone into to your core, and rule it, and love it , its wonderful .
If that love is replaced by something negative like fear, distrust, anger, the damage it can do is devistating .
It can, and has , made people suicide.
This is why im urging you, if you have this ideal, make a safety net, learn what it is to need to be dominant , even if you are a submissive. Understanding is EVERYTHING in these types of dynamic.
Dream, but be careful man, it isnt a dream where everything falls into place .....continually .
Becuase life is a very cruel mistress to everyone .
She throws shit 😏
Thats what im warning you about .
People CAN do it , but only of youre prepared for it .
And this is the point im making.
A submissive isnt just this passive receiver, they need to be on the ball, smart , ready to jump in at a moments notice and hold the reigns.
You need the abilty to have their 6, gather in all the pieces when shit falls apart .
If neither party is aware of this , then you have NO IDEA how ugly it gets .
All that passion and love gets turned to hate, anger and depression .
A union with such a tight dynamic becomes destructive in ways, i can guarantee you dont understand .
But heres a concept you need to understand : when you let someone into to your core, and rule it, and love it , its wonderful .
If that love is replaced by something negative like fear, distrust, anger, the damage it can do is devistating .
It can, and has , made people suicide.
This is why im urging you, if you have this ideal, make a safety net, learn what it is to need to be dominant , even if you are a submissive. Understanding is EVERYTHING in these types of dynamic.
Dream, but be careful man, it isnt a dream where everything falls into place .....continually .
Becuase life is a very cruel mistress to everyone .
She throws shit 😏
popmol · 22-25, M
@OogieBoogie ooh no i understand but i choose to ignore that all and live in a fantasy :p (its also probably likely going to happen its just a dream after all :p )
i wish i live in a fantasy though! if i was the richest man on earth! i'd make scientists work on figuring out how to create dragons in the lab!
but those are all just dreams :p
but remember if freaky aliens of life give you lemons you make freak alien lemonade!
i wish i live in a fantasy though! if i was the richest man on earth! i'd make scientists work on figuring out how to create dragons in the lab!
but those are all just dreams :p
but remember if freaky aliens of life give you lemons you make freak alien lemonade!
OogieBoogie · F
popmol · 22-25, M
@OogieBoogie haha i know if i ever fall in love even if its toxic or a bad one i'll probably stay in it i put myself down there i'm just the type.
luckily no one likes me :p
luckily no one likes me :p