Do you really really want to know the answer to your most pressing question?

@BlueVeins Would you like to hear a theory?

@SW-User yeah

@BlueVeins Children from birth to about 5-6 years need a lot of co-regulation from parents and/or care-givers. Unfortunately, most parents aren't able to provide this, either via ignorance or their own personal issues. That child who doesn't learn how to regulate themselves in childhood finds themselves with various coping mechanisms, shunning parts of themselves into the shadow etc ...and therefore their adult life feels dysfunctional.
I've said all this in very shallow terms - there is a lot more depth to this that I could not type.