Its so hard sometimes to put emotions into words

Tomorrow is my oldest daughter's birthday... she will be 23, I haven't talked to her since she was 15, like since exactly a month after her birthday. Each year, i write her a letter to send with her gift, and this time.as come again.

Its getting so hard to do because of the rejection I keep getting from this young woman for who at one time in her life I was her everything. Its hard to not be able to hug her, to talk to her, to get to know her gf like everyone else, to be able to be part of her life. I feel like Ive missed out on so much, so many momenets that I will never have nor that we can take back

So many told me, forget her, concentrate on your 2 daughters that you do see..... but how can a mither forget about their child? You never can. I am blessed with the 2 that do talk to me, but this doesnt take away the void I have, the pain andthe way I miss her.

People have been telling me for years, don't worry when she becomes an adult, she will need her mom.... she has been an adult 4 yrs now and she still doesnt want me in her life. Its just so hard