Who was your first love? 😍😍😍

The relationship itself was cliché I think. Passionate artist pining for connection meets passionate, but aloof, emotionally unavailable musician. I had an abusive boyfriend at the time, but I was very young, he was my first boyfriend, and I was scared to leave him. I didn’t leave my boyfriend ‘for Jay’, but that new, happier, not-abusive dynamic did give me the courage to kick the abuser out and find my own footing in the world. As for Jay, from the moment we started talking I was so madly drawn to him that it was compelling. From an outside perspective, I was an idiot chasing around a player, but something intuitively knew that wasn’t the way of it. Just because he wasn’t a player though doesn’t mean what we had going on was healthy by any stretch of the imagination. We would spend some time together, he’d feel triggered by the intimacy then disappear for a month or three months then reappear and I’d drop everything to spend even a little time with him again. This went on for years. It seems like every time we reconnected he would get sexier. 🤣 First he was a drummer, then he got really good on the guitar, then he got the hang of the piano, then he became the lead singer in a band that was working on a contract. Later he turned out to be an amazing father and solid husband then he got a bachelors in philosophy. That’s the thing of it. Jay and I didn’t work out for a lot of logistical and Life phase reasons, but we still catch up every few years. It’s always like no time has passed. I think it’s funny that almost 20 years later it’s confirmed somehow my younger self was right about him, Who I thought he was and how he would turn out to be and that I wasn’t delusional even though it definitely looked like it at the time 🤣