you know for a while i was not willing to except that the Virus was purposely released , but other things came to my attention

If you ever read William Cooper’s book, Behold a Pale Horse, there is a chapter on how this pandemic was being planned. He died right after 9-11, he knew a huge amount of things going on in the government and things being planned. The book was released in 1991. There was recently a doctor staying in a hospital room in Florida who was a roommate with a man in his 50’s who had Covid. The doctor became his roommate’s patient advocate during the stay. The roommate developed pneumonia and the hospital was refusing to give the man antibiotics. The doctor tried to help him get the antibiotics he needed to treat the pneumonia the hospital had the doctor forcibly restrained for 4 hours so he couldn’t call anyone or get help for the man. That man died as a result. This is how evil it has gotten. This is way beyond being negligent or simple malpractice, it is cold-blooded murder. That hospital is said to be a very highly-rated hospital in Florida.
I would say you are not being paranoid at all