I'm hungry and have no food, what should I do?

Go get food?
Even if you don't have money, there are plenty of places in every city where you can get food. Food drives, soup kitchens, churches...
maybe if you have some property, or know someone who has property, you could start a garden. If you live in a cold climate, you could have a try at growing food indoors - vertical gardens, hydroponics, aquaponics...

Magic conch shell: nothing

E. Beg

E) All of the above.

D - why waste energy

Get a job.

B

Dance!

Go outside stand in the street and scream "FEED ME" until someone throws food at you.

You have two options for protein. 1) Eat your boogers. 2) Masturbate and eat your cum.