I dont know what just happened..

Wow. I just woke up in the middle of the night and genuinely considered suicide as a good option. Out of nowhere. Like my entire life up to this point just wasnt worth the struggle. Iv had ptsd for so long. Iv done great things but to what end. If this is what life is. If we are genuinely just slaves to society with no true purpose but to accumulate paper money and believe it to be wealth. What is this life truly worth? What am i gaining from just waking up to work my life away for someone elses belief of wealth. Is this happiness? What is my life worth compared to the man next to me.? Should my life mean something? If we are all stuck in this illusion and noone will listen or be willing to change, what is the point? Are we all destined to fight eachother and just simply exist. Like drones.. what am i... why am i here..