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Do people start caring less about you when you get older?

Like when I was 7 when my mom abandoned me, people felt so bad. I through temper tantrums but now I’m almost 18, my friends and family are telling me it get over myself and move on. My older half brother said I’m not a little kid that cries for mommy anymore, she doesn’t want you or never calls you so forget her and move on. Even my best friends are getting tired of me talking about my mom. I few times I got told I should leave if I keep talking about my mom.
I cry when people insulted me as a child and my dad and siblings stood up for me but tell me to stand up for myself and stop crying. Now an an adult nobody stands up for me anymore. They told me I need to start standing up for myself and they won’t always be around to stand up for them. My aunt screamed at me and my aunt and uncle didn’t stand up for me. My aunt has NEVER yelled at like that as a child.

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hartfire · 61-69

It's not that people care less about you as a human being.

But people do expect others to behave in a way which is consistent with their age.
All small children go through a phase of having temper tantrums. Children who are poorly parented will continue having tantrums, and this can show up in alarming ways during the teenage years.

But by the time people reach adulthood, they are expected to be able to be responsible for their own emotions, and able to self-soothe, self-regulate and self-control in ways that are socially appropriate.

Some people don't manage this.
Sometimes it's due to immaturity, usually the result of emotional damage caused in dysfunctional families.
Sometimes it's caused by a neurological disability.
The problem is, no one can see the cause of the problem from the outside. With something like Down's Syndrome, one can see instantly that the person has a severe intellectual disability - and adults can adapt their behaviour and expectations in realistic ways.
But with immaturity (various types of Borderline Personality Disorders)
or with neurological problems such as ADD, ADHD or Austism, no one can see any external sign - so misunderstandings are the norm.

DianaGyana · 36-40, F

@hartfire careful to label someone in grief as mentally ill, they may never come out of it😱🤔

hartfire · 61-69

@DianaGyana True.
Grief can look like depression, or even become depression.
And grieving can sometimes start before the relationship has ended, when one partner has seen the end coming and realises that it has become inevitable.

The various stages of grief, such as shock, denial, bargaining and anger can sometimes look like craziness, but they're not. They're just the natural and normal way that humans deal with loss.

DianaGyana · 36-40, F

@hartfire are you a therapist or something? why would you go so far to convince an innocent kid that she is mentally ill or even mentally disabled on here. Shocking!!!

hartfire · 61-69

@DianaGyana I am not doing the labelling, but I am speaking from the knowledge of her background.
She has told us here, numerous times, what her diagnosis is: "high functioning autism".

44 years ago, while a student at art school, I had a two and a half year relationship with a guy who had Aspergers. I didn't know it at the time. His diagnosis came much later. But when I learned of it, all the hell that I went through suddenly made sense. He was constantly having meltdowns (violent tantrums) over things that do not bother other people. Even the sound of a phone could set him off.

A few years later, I worked in a half-way house with young autistic adults for two and a half years. I got to know each of them as individuals very well.

Part of the problem is that the Autism Spectrum Disorder is usually comorbid with other conditions.
I don't know exactly what other issues are going on with this young woman, but there is definitely some piece of info missing. Her grammar and vocab have been consistent over several months, and it's not what one would normally find in an 18 year old.

No joke. It is a serious problem both for those who have it and their carers.

It's far too serious for a site like this. I think she's at risk here, from people who don't understand her, and from the trolls, predators and jokers.
I feel frustrated and wish I could speak to her father about the difficulties she's having, and what I perceive as her desperate need for professional help.

hartfire · 61-69

@DianaGyana I'm not trying to convince her of anything.
She told me what her diagnosis was.
She has been posting her issues and asking for commentary and help everyday for several months.

Most of her posts or questions revolve around several themes;
losing a friend over an argument about animal,
being bullied about that issue on Facebook,
and at school about her height and weight,
having more rights and freedoms at 18
but protesting that adults will be expect more of her,
and not being able to understand why her family are now refusing to help her with the bullies and demanding that she work out how to stand up for herself.

I've answered everyone of these queries with a factual no-nonsense approach - because she is asking for reality.
She wants to see if what her family and friends say is also what others in the world think - and usually it is.

But there is a serious problem here.
I have studied psychology (University of New England, Aust.), have qualified as a counsellor with Lifeline, and have worked with young autistic adults.
All over the world there are charities and professional associations full of dedicated specialists whose job it is to assist people on the Autism Spectrum.

I am worried that this young girl is not getting that help.
This would be exactly the same as no giving assistance to a person with any other kind of serious disability, such as blindness, Downs, or being a paraplegic.
It is certainly not her fault in any way, but if she doesn't recieve professional help soon, the consequences for her future life as an adult will be disastrous and tragic.

She is also not receiving help with a life-threatening level of obesity which her medical doctor has already warned her about.