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Why can't my mom be like other moms?

My mom abandoned us, she isn't interested. Seeing my friends with their mothers bonding makes me sick. My friends seem happier than me. Mom had chances to be in your lives and SHE NEVER TOOK THEM!!!!!
Yes I am bitter. I mean my mom left.
It isn't fair! Why can't I have a loving mother? I tried and I tried but my mom WONT DO IT! WHY DOESNT SHE WANT US?!

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Abstraction · 61-69, M

Here's the thing. Your mum's behaviour is nothing to do with you. It doesn't say you weren't worthy of loving. It doesn't say you aren't now.

It only tells you she had her own struggles. Something inside her that was too big for her to handle.

So you need to make a choice, because you're like a person whose life is at the crossroads.

Road 1. Hold on to the pain. Continue to nurse it, continue to want something in the past that you cannot ever change. Ask yourself, where has this led you so far? Where will it take you?

Road 2. Let go and start to live.

NotValid · 31-35, F

@Abstraction I don't wanna hold on to the pain but I need my mom.

Abstraction · 61-69, M

@NotValid You just did a circle back to the same spot by saying that.

You don't actually need your mom. You can live a great life without her. Lots of people do. As long as you keep telling yourself you need her, you are stuck. Write her a letter or something that you'll never post, to tell yourself, you really wanted a mother, but since she wasn't able to be there, you are going to move on. Something for closure.

ScarletWitch · 26-30, F

Sorry to hear. My mother also left and ended her life... which is worse. At least yours is still alive and you still have the chance to make your bond stronger with her over time. Good luck.

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NotValid · 31-35, F

@ScarletWitch OMG I am so sorry 💔
She ended her own life?

ScarletWitch · 26-30, F

@NotValid yes. With insulin.

NotValid · 31-35, F

@ScarletWitch Awww I'm sorry 💔

DiegoWolfe · 36-40

Just my unwanted 2 cents but if you are not getting what you clearly desperately need from your biological mother, why not find a woman in your life that exhibits the qualities you do desire in a mom and hold her in that motherly role, explain to her that you are suffering from years of neglect and emotional abuse and just need a mom and would she be that for you.

JessicaVl · F

If I could, I will be your mom.
Don't spend to much time overthink about her. It makes you suffer. You can live without her and make better choices than her.

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JessicaVl · F

@NotValid oh, yes... You are smart and able to change your life.

NotValid · 31-35, F

@JessicaVl How do ya know?

JessicaVl · F

@NotValid I think you suffered enough and you can feel inside the desire to be free of this pain.
You know, inside, just follow your guts.

pentacorn · F

i'm so sorry. i experienced much the same thing. you will reconcile a lot of this in your 30's, or at least that's when i did.

SimplyTracie · 26-30, F

She might have mental health issues. Sometimes people lose control of their senses.

Angeliclove · 26-30, F

Because she is a cunt.

NotValid · 31-35, F

@Angeliclove Please don't call her that. She's my mother.

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