Did you ever feel like you wanna just end it all to not feel all the painful feelings

I've been thru so much emotional pain my whole life. I've lost all my whole family, my best friend, my high school bf all died. And lotta times I can barely drag myself out of bed. My bf that I thought I was gonna be with forever and start a new life with just broke up with me. But never have I ever wanted to wake up dead.