Is it normal to feel envious seeing other people with loving mothers?

My late mom abandoned us when I was 8. I never really had a loving mother. She resented me. When I see my friends with their mothers I get bitter and envious. Why can't my mom be like other moms? She left because of my diagnoses of autism. She didn't want a "disabled child." She admitted that to me and it hurt me so bad. My dad said to me when he met a woman, she though she be a great mother to my brothers and I but unfortunately it didn't turn out that way. He knows I need a mother and female role model. My aunt stepped in to help especially with me because I needed a female around to help me become a woman when my mom should have been the one doing that. Im grateful for my aunt for what she's done for me. My mom is dead now. Died of an overdose five months ago. I'll never have a mother and daughter relationship! 😭😭