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Hey, you.... I am a biiig boss in a biiig murder company. And we are hiring!

But in order to get hired, you have to confess to everyone you've murdered so I know you're good at murdering and so I trust you.
Also, I'm totes not a cop.

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DukeOfEarle · M

I’m not a cop either. I just dress up as one for Halloween and costume parties. Yes, yes. Now I have a rock solid alibi!

[image/video deleted]

Sharky86 · 36-40, M

Babe I'm a 🦈 wazz do ya thinko?

Wraithorn · 56-60, M

That reminds me of a man I knew who was a cop. He earned a reputation for shooting dead many suspects who always seemed to run from him. Amazingly even though he always aimed for their legs he shot them dead somehow.
Then he resigned and turned up as the hitman for a certain gang if drug dealers. About a year later, after enjoying the highlife, he was murdered by a rival gang hitman. And so the wheel turns...
He lived wild and died the same way.

PoizonApple · 41-45, F

@Wraithorn what kinda people do you hang out with?

Wraithorn · 56-60, M

@PoizonApple Lol. He was a cop and so was I. He also helped me fix some things on my car because he knew how. So I just happened to know the guy. I never suspected that he was a closet psychopath. I have known a lot of weird people though. Another guy who was a good friend (also a cop) until his girlfriend (yes another cop) became my wife after an odd series of events- shot his own sister (also a cop) in her head with her own service pistol. Then he shot another cop who arrived to see what all the shooting was about...and then killed himself.

F*cken 'ell ! And that's just the start. I live alone now and stay the hell away from people. Life is simpler that way.
🙂

PoizonApple · 41-45, F

@Wraithorn cops always have the best stories lmao!

SW-User

I murdered a girl with the old hot sauce soaked tampon. It wasn't the tampon that killed her, it was hitting her head on the ceiling fan when she put it in 🤷‍♂️

Do I get the job?

PoizonApple · 41-45, F

@SW-User mayyyyybe...you didn't happen to do some murders down on Walter St did you? Because that was awesome. I sure wanna hire whoever did that

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