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Why do I keep trying to convince myself that he's not dead when I already know that he is?

I've checked his facebook 100+ times hoping he'd make a post saying he's okay, but instead people started to post how they miss him and everything just hit so much harder.
I just want to say, if anyone reading this ever feels suicidal- please, please, please talk to someone and get some help. The pain and the depression might have you thinking that everyone would be better off with you gone, but it's not true. Because once you're gone the pain only transfers to everyone else.

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ahndee · 31-35, M

I think it's hard to accept death, especially when it's someone close to you, because it's so hard to accept the change. One day, they were a very important part of your life, and the next day they're suddenly gone, leaving an empty void that needs to be filled. Personally, I wouldn't want to commit suicide when there are people who depend on personal, social interactions with me, so I'm going to stick around as long as I need to.