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An intruder breaks into your house. You don't have much time to retaliate, so you grab the first thing you see to your right.

What do you fight him off with?
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SW-User
My tissue -_-
I'm dead
SW-User
I'll protect u senpai
SW-User
Thnx :v

If it were down under, it would be my trusty unicycle of extreme awesomeness