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How can I really build my confidence?

Today at work I had a performance review with my manager and she was basically telling me that I'm not ready to move to the next level because i'm not assertive and lacking confidence. She said I need to step up and show her I can take charge and be a leader. I just dont think I have what it takes man...My low self esteem is DESTROYING me..my career and my life is at stake and I just DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE 😢😢😩
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reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M
I think there are 2 types of confidence, the dumb type are confident even if they are full of shit and don't know what they are doing and there are people who will seem not confident until they have actually mastered something and then they are the best. I am like the second, every new task I wonder if I can do it, I take longer than others to get the basics but then when I get it, it takes no time I get better than everyone else. Try maybe talking to a close one about what you do to run the processes in your mind in a stress free environment or when at work try to help others with stuff you have mastered already, teaching something to someone is a good way to show yourself how much you have mastered what you know and build you confidence. good luck.
Alifeinterrupted · 31-35, F
@reflectingmonkey Thanks buddy
SimplyTracie · 26-30, F
@reflectingmonkey Do you think that there might be a third type stuck somewhere between those two? That one person who lacks the skills (master) but has the confidence “to go for it”.

That can do attitude exudes confidence don’t you think? Or is that a person who is full of sh*t? 😝
reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M
@SimplyTracie yes, but talking about this 3rd type would not be useful at this moment, the slight bias in my explanation was to be supportive of our friend here.
SimplyTracie · 26-30, F
@reflectingmonkey Good point. But as you can see from her comments, she doesn’t need to be cuddled. Be straight and forthcoming. Cannot be weak.