Why do many people think saying I didn't mean to redeems them ? Like if you did mean to why did your actions show otherwise?

Those are the kinds of people who were never spanked as a child, and who received medals just for participating!

My pet peeve is the 'I was just joking!' line. Bullshit.
They just want to say whatever the hell they want, and not be held accountable for it.

"Just kidding" is 'my' personal favorite. "Disingenuous disclaimers make the best platitudes!' Puckism 69

Because these are not the kind of people who take responsibility for their actions and words. And then they use 'it's just a joke' or 'I was kidding' or 'I didn't mean to' kind of passive aggressive phrases to make you look like you're over reacting.

Rule 1. Nobody gives a shit about your intentions.