I am jealous of the people who are not walking in the same footsteps as me, on a path of drug abuse and addiction.

I wish I was never introduced to drugs, especially amphetamine and opiates. People should start taking heed in the warnings given by people who are recovering from drug and alcohol addiction. I didnt listen. I thought that could never be me, I can do drugs and not have them take over, I thought I was different and not like the others.. but they were right all along and I was SO wrong. I dont know if I appear as a junkie to others, I sure feel like a junkie. I suppose I am a junkie. I dont see why I wouldn't be considered one. I need help I think, if I ever become sober I am going to try to be the convincing recovering addict and maybe steer the youth away from this path I'm on. It's not even a path anymore.. it's a deep, dark hole at the end of it, and I'm stuck at the bottom, not knowing who I am anymore with a self-hatred of the man I've become. I'll get out, I just don't know how yet