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Has anyone blackmailed you and using it to weasel his way in to a relationship with you?

I have done something embarrassing and bad in the past and has recently resurfaced. This guy I know has been using it to get me to go out with him. I originally joined the site to get it out of my system but still held back. I don’t want to disappoint nor shame my family but every time I ignore him, he drops subtle hints. He is starting to show up unannounced or ring my father to have small talks. He would get his sister to ring me and chat etc. I can’t stand him and everything about him irritates and annoy me.

I’m thinking of telling my family what I’ve done so I can tell this A-hole to f**k off. I live in a small conservative religious village, gossip spread like wildfire here. 😢

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LadyGrace ·

Also, remember. You don’t need to explain details to anyone. The more you cower, the worse people will take advantage of that and try to make you feel ashamed. Be firm, stand tall, and if your parents or anyone asks, I’d just say, “There’s not one person, who’s never made a mistake. I’ve made mine, I’ve asked God to forgive me, and that’s the end of it. I’ve moved on. End of story.” [b]Period!![/b] You need say no more. Not to anyone. And don’t act or look ashamed. You’re not the only person who’s made mistakes in this life. If they don’t ask, don’t volunteer. It makes you look weak and guilty.

PilinisesiofParadise · 31-35, F

@LadyGrace
Thank you Grace for your courageous words.

It’s time I stop being a coward and face it. I don’t this to continue anymore.

LadyGrace ·

@PilinisesiofParadise Exactly, and I know you can do it. There’s no fear on the other side, once you have power over it. You rule IT. IT doesn’t rule you, any longer. Once it’s all exposed, game over. You’ve taken the thrill out of the manipulation for your abuser. However never make the mistake of threatening your abuser. You’re just reminding him what could happen....nothing more!! No cursing, no saying, “When I get through with you.....”. No. Say your peace, stand by it, then don’t say one more word, because IF YOU DO, you’ll just show him you’re scared and insecure about your decision, and you’ll just victimize yourself again, and he’ll SEE you as a cowardly victim. Silence is golden! After you’ve said your peace, keep silent! Not another word, not any contact of any sort, whatsoever!!! NO responses!!! You don’t want to give him any feedback to respond to. Chickens, chicken out.