how do i talk about having PTSD

@anythingoes477 watching my best friend die infront me while i was restrained and forced to watch, and also watched my own niece die in front me

@GothicDan How did this happen? Where?

@anythingoes477 lost my niece last, year she got crushed by a wall and i wasn't fast enough to save her, and losing my best friend, was when i was 14 we got jumped, i try to stop them but i was held at knife point, and i was too scared to do anything i failed to save him

@GothicDan You NEVER failed either time. It may have traumatized you seeing these things----but you are guilt tripping yourself on both------and both were completely out of your control to save anyone.

i still failed them, and i hate it i wasnt fast enough to save them

@GothicDan So if you ran under that wall and held your arms up and caught a ton's worth of wall--maybe 6 tons worth of wall--could you have held it up so it didn't fall on her? Really?

And you could have said go ahead and stab me--just let him go? Right??

i wish it was that simple, i wish every day that it was me in their place

@GothicDan It "IS" that simple. You were powerless to do ANYTHING in either case---but you have laid a guilt trip on yourself. Tht "I wish it was me instead of them" is what soldiers feel..........or a cop after a shootout--but the stark reality is--it's not YOUR call who lives or dies. That is in a master plan that you didn't design--and it's not up to you then to change the outcome of it.

i wish i died the same day, i have been close to suicide 14 times

@GothicDan You should find professional counselling.........but when you do they'll tell you what I am. No matter what you THINK you could have done....it was not in your realm to do it--to change destiny. Blaming yourself is perhaps understandable...but it's not rational. You need to find out what's at the bottom of that pit and that ain't gonna happen on SW. I have a degree in Behavioral Psychology, but still..............it ain't happening here.