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What to do when a friend continuously say she’s depressed every time you try to cheer her up?

I have a very good friend who is constantly down. I try to cheer her up and but she’s really negative and her mood is rubbing off on me. I don’t want to leave her on her own but her negativity is taking its toll on me and I am now ignoring her calls.

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Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

Tell her the truth !
You are neither a Counsellor; a Doctor nor a Psychiatrist.
If she really DOES have Depression, those are the people she needs to seek help from.

Grassisnotgreenerontheothersid · 31-35, F

I have and she would end up in tears and start reciting every problem in her life. @Picklebobble2

Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

@Grassisnotgreenerontheothersid
Sounds a bit manipulative, don't you think ?
Find someone you get on well with.
Share a few personal details and appear supportive.
Dump every thought; worry; and concern on that person and make it clear you'll do something terrible if......

TheOtakuNextDoor · 26-30, M

Do not give up on her. Just listen to her rant and be negative. Sometimes listening is the best thing you can do to a depressed person, it helps a lot.

Starkizzed21 · 31-35, F

Be honest with her.
You’ve tried to show her the power of positivity and that’s something she can actively do to rewrite her brain to be more happy and not negative, but she’ll have to practice it.

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Starkizzed21 · 31-35, F

@Grassisnotgreenerontheothersid I have a friend like this on fb. An old hs friend of mine cheated on him and he’s never been the same since breaking off their engagement. He’s constantly posting how he’s a fuck up and no one will like him ever and now he’s gonna delete his profile but never does. I messaged him point blank one day and gave him my piece of mind. He’s doin better with the depression posts, and I always let him know I’m here to talk.
You should have her watch the documentary “the secret” on Netflix. She may need some deeper life awakening to feel meaning.

Grassisnotgreenerontheothersid · 31-35, F

Thanks for that brilliant idea, I will ask her to watch The Secret. I’ve watched it and it’s inspiring, it might do the same for her. 👍@Starkizzed21

Starkizzed21 · 31-35, F

@Grassisnotgreenerontheothersid You’re welcome! Maybe invite her over and put it on so she HAS to watch it. Lol life is too short to sit and worry. Get her thinking- really thinking about how she’s got all the power in the world to transform her life even feeling depressed.
Like, it’s OK to feel down and sad. Feel it and let the wave pass. She’s not alone for sure.

Random1Thoughts · F

That's difficult, I had a boyfriend like that. I eventually left him and cut all ties. I totally understand where you're coming from.

My advice would be seek professional help for her and if it's affecting you, you need to be selfish and take care of yourself.

Grassisnotgreenerontheothersid · 31-35, F

I am worn out. @Random1Thoughts

SW-User

I tried cheering up depressed people once. I talked and talked. I gave and gave. However, depression doesnt go away like that. If it did it wouldn't be depression. Sometimes u cant help too much

Grassisnotgreenerontheothersid · 31-35, F

It’s difficult because you want to help but at the same time want to distant yourself from them. @SW-User

SW-User

@Grassisnotgreenerontheothersid u nailed it

TheOneyouwerewarnedabout · 41-45, MVIP

Fell her exactly that..
Bich, you’re bumming me out

Grassisnotgreenerontheothersid · 31-35, F

Maybe I need to write her a letter. @TheOneyouwerewarnedabout

SW-User

I would also give myself space from such a person. It seems like they just want to talk about being depressed and do nothing about it.
And if it affects me personally then I keep distance. I will let them know sincerely though how I feel. Let it fall whichever way it does.

Grassisnotgreenerontheothersid · 31-35, F

As much as I want to help her, I need to distant myself. There is only so much I can do. @SW-User

LucyFuhr · 56-60, F

Recurrent "depression" that lasts for more than a couple of weeks, should really be checked out by a professional. Encourage her to seek help and let her know you'll give her your full support while she's in treatment...

She'll either take you up on the advice and hopefully get better OR just start avoiding [i][b]you[/b][/i], instead LOL

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Grassisnotgreenerontheothersid · 31-35, F

She’s a friend I grew up with. This all happened after a failed relationship. It has been 6 years from that relationship and she hasn’t moved in.

I care for her but it’s too much. @Jimgeneration60

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