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ManicMortuary · 31-35, F
So, it was 4 years ago, my annoying ass mother in law just [i]had[/i] to have fucking canned carrots..I bought a whole bag of fresh fucking carrots, but apparently her palette was that of a poverty stricken toddler. I told her the can opener was broken and I didn't know where my pocket knife was to open the can..she threw a fucking passive aggressive fit and I tried to use the can opener.
So, now I'm pissed off, trying to get this busted ass can opener to actually cut more than a fucking millimeter without jumping off the rim of the can. She's running her mouth, talking about how she doesn't need fancy food or for anyone to go through any trouble on her behalf [b]WHILE I'M LITERALLY FIGHTING WITH THIS FUCKING CAN OPENER AND GOING THROUGH A WORLD OF TROUBLE WITH IT.[/b]
I reach the point of peak pissed offness, and push my index finger and middle finger on the lid to get it to open wide enough so she can have her fucking chemical drenched carrots...let me tell you how fucking awful the next hour was.
The lid slid down, my finger slipped in, and the aluminum nearly sliced my finger off. It slid down in like a corkscrew motion. So my finger is stuck in the can, the lid is very much lodged in my skin, and pulling it out only slides the metal further in. So I have to pretty much twist my finger out and cut it deeper.
There's blood everywhere, I definitely need stitches (I never got stitches) and the fucking can isn't open wide enough to get any carrots out. I've got a blood drenched towel on my hand, and this fucking can of carrots from hell in the other. I threw the can, which is saturated in my blood, at her in the living room and locked myself in the bathroom to clean my hand up. I still have a nasty scar on my finger and I will NOT fuck with canned anything.
I've never cut myself chopping vegetables or fruits, though.
So, now I'm pissed off, trying to get this busted ass can opener to actually cut more than a fucking millimeter without jumping off the rim of the can. She's running her mouth, talking about how she doesn't need fancy food or for anyone to go through any trouble on her behalf [b]WHILE I'M LITERALLY FIGHTING WITH THIS FUCKING CAN OPENER AND GOING THROUGH A WORLD OF TROUBLE WITH IT.[/b]
I reach the point of peak pissed offness, and push my index finger and middle finger on the lid to get it to open wide enough so she can have her fucking chemical drenched carrots...let me tell you how fucking awful the next hour was.
The lid slid down, my finger slipped in, and the aluminum nearly sliced my finger off. It slid down in like a corkscrew motion. So my finger is stuck in the can, the lid is very much lodged in my skin, and pulling it out only slides the metal further in. So I have to pretty much twist my finger out and cut it deeper.
There's blood everywhere, I definitely need stitches (I never got stitches) and the fucking can isn't open wide enough to get any carrots out. I've got a blood drenched towel on my hand, and this fucking can of carrots from hell in the other. I threw the can, which is saturated in my blood, at her in the living room and locked myself in the bathroom to clean my hand up. I still have a nasty scar on my finger and I will NOT fuck with canned anything.
I've never cut myself chopping vegetables or fruits, though.
SaintAdelaide · 31-35, F
@ManicMortuary Wow I'm sorry your monster in law is a cruel woman! What did your husband have to say about that? Who eats canned carrots anyway ? I'm sorry that must have been very painful😣
ManicMortuary · 31-35, F
@SaintAdelaide He was a meek, spineless man, so he didn't say anything really lol Big reason why I left him.
I didn't feel it cut into me, but I definitely felt it when I freed my hand!
I didn't feel it cut into me, but I definitely felt it when I freed my hand!
SailorMarz · F
My dad told me to cut an avocado open for him & I cut myself & went "Ow, bitch" & he said "did you just cut yourself?" & I lied & said "No, I just hit my finger" I remember feeling very useless that day
Last week
Last week
PhoenixPhail · M
Great for making finger sandwiches.
Carver · 31-35, F
Yikes!