UK Laws gone berserk, I was arrested for eating a ice lolly in public. This is really like Oliver Cromwell's book '1984'!

Indeed, I was walking briskly through our Hamlet, taking time to converse with the passers by when I decided that I would like to partake of an iced cream. I entered an establishment and purchased the said delicacy but I nearly swooned in shock when, on leaving the ice cream parlour I was tackled to the ground by several burly police persons...Clearly they took offence at my choice of refreshment and I can only assume that these 'Ice Officers' found this a crime worthy of incarceration. On arrival at the police station I demanded to see the person in charge and when she spoke to me it was quite clear that the 'Illumination' and the shape shifting lizards were in control. She gave me some cock and bull story about how I was not arrested by the police but two senior members of the over 50 ladies residential club who had stated that I had ventured into the garden area and for the third time had attempted to steal 'garments' from the washing lines and that it was not an ice cream I was eating I was drinking a can of super strength cider which 'apparently' I had stolen from a grocery shop. As I am now 59 I feel that Dr Huxtable was right when he wrote 'Bright New World'....Thoughts and sympathy welcome.