Fake Moon, proof if proof were needed. While looking at the Moon through my binoculars this evening I was interrupted by a large airliner

approaching from the left hand side...I could see that it was at the same height as the moon (about 6 miles away) but was aghast to see that, instead of flying round the moon the plane flew straight through it. Clearly this proves that the moon is a hologram.

My discovery was noticed by many, it was clear that I had upset 'Big Farma', the 'illumination' and 'NASA'. Seconds after I posted my findings onto the Skegness Creation University Website I heard a knock at my door. It turned out to be the police who said that they were responding to a complaint that I was using my binoculars to look through the windows of the middle aged woman across the road, they also said that they had a search warrant to search my house for items of the same woman's clothing that had gone missing from her washing line the previous evening and they had video proof (clearly CGI).

It is clear to me that I have touched a nerve, why else would NASA steal this women's undergarments and plant them under my bed, looks like they want me silenced.

I would respect your support but please give it soon as NASA will close down the internet as soon as they read this post.

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Majorlatency · M

Professor, I am typing this quietly as I fear my phone may be "tapped". I make this bold assumption as primarily PC Nabb (the off duty plain clothes police officer) is looking over my shoulder at everything I write.

You have uncovered a conspiracy so deep, so devious, so dastardly, so diabollocks, so despicable, so, so, so "what" I hear you say.

Here's my story! The other evening I was partaking in a case of Viking XXX Extra strong lager washed down with a flagon of cooking sherry, i slid pleasantly into the usual comma.. Imagine my surprise when I was awoken from my blissful slumber by a pounding at the front door. I answered bleary-eyed and saw my home surrounded by police. Well it was PC Nabb (T O D P C P O) and the severely overweight Police Woman Cun, Constable Gwen Stephani (I believe this is not her real name) PC Stephani was undercover wearing a very large green Tarp, disguising herself as my lawn. Due to her size she was occupying most of my front garden barracading any escape root!

It appears that I too have been framed. PC Nabb clutched in his hands an arrest warrant implying I have been stealing copious amounts of Mrs Wiggins undergarments from her washing line and the laundromat on the High Street.

Imagine my horror when I looked down I was sporting a shimmering silk matching peekaboo bra and panties set. I was aghast and took a step back in dismay. It was obvious to me someone (the true villain) crept into my house, and took advantage of my comma and slipped me into the lingerie set and adorned my floor and settee with equally incriminating "evidence"! I've been framed! We obviously know too much.. i can't type further it appears PC Gwen Stephani has blocked my toilet, a consequence of eating two trays of Krispi Kreme's. I think the blocked toilet is a diversion, as such the police are looking into it.

I will send morse code message using the pen light I've secreted up my bottom from my prison cell tonight. Unless it gets found as a result of some bizarre prison initation ritual that I've read so much about.

I hear the bigger prisoners have already given me an endearing nickname "Fresh Meat" so nice of them. I think I will fit in well there, they've implied the same...

Please await my message, I've got to go they're using gas to get me out of my house, either that or cun..constable Gwen Stephani just farted! Keep vigilant professor, I just know the SSL, Royal family, NASA and Professor Brian Cocks are somehow behind this!