Why do women NEED to be sweet and kind in order to get assistance in life but men can act bold and aggressive?

I am having issues with my new car. I have brought it back to the dealership three times (which is inconvenient when you have to work) and the issue remains. Feeling a bit frustrated I asked the "manager" in the service dept. if I could speak with the general manager - service dept. and dealership are attached. I waited 20 minutes before both men arrived looking very stern and said "What exactly is YOUR problem?" I explained the issue (even though they KNEW what the issue was). They looked at each other and jointly agreed (w/o the conversation being directed my way) that the manufacturer should be notified. Meanwhile a gentleman next to me (who came in 30 minutes after I did) was able to leave immediately with a rental because his car was having an oil change.

This is not the first time things like this happen to me.

I explained this to my father and his response was ... "You get more bees with honey than you do with vinegar" WTF? Was there a time lapse back to 1962 that I am unaware of? My time and money is just as valuable as a man's.

Is this an American thing ... Is this a sexism thing?

It's depressing knowing that I have the rest of my life having to deal with this.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Punches · 46-50, F

I can understand the frustration of a problem not being fixed even after two attempts.
Problem though -
Asking to speak with a manager or higher up immediately makes someone think, "Karen". I think a lot of people may not realize they are even acting like one.
That aside -

With car sales or ANYthing automotive related, there are damn near nothing but crooks in the industry. Everything from new sales to private party buyers and sellers, service departments etc.

I deal with the public and it doesn't matter if it is a man or a woman, I will go out of my way to help if they are polite. With customers perceived as rude, people try to "pass the buck" which is why they told you to contact the manufacturer.

When rude customers are given something for free, it is because the people running the business are just trying to get said customer out of their hair.

dontbekoi · 36-40, F

@Punches I think the term "Karen" is used to shame and shut women up - I am not a fan.
I work in a corporate environment where I am responsible for 17 employees. I work shoulder to shoulder with men and they have no problem with the way I conduct myself (I have been promoted three times). I think certain men are intimidated by my ability to purchase cars and homes on my own ... But their insecurity does not give them the right to rip me off. I will be respectful to people who treat me in kind but after three attempts to get a problem solved AND spending 34k for a car that is obviously a lemon is a bit much. I wrote this post this AM when I was feeling very low - I no longer feel this way. I have gotten some great advise that is empowering and I am going to go forward and conquer this problem. I have a feeling tomorrow will be a better day. Thank you for your response 😊