Why do women NEED to be sweet and kind in order to get assistance in life but men can act bold and aggressive?

I am having issues with my new car. I have brought it back to the dealership three times (which is inconvenient when you have to work) and the issue remains. Feeling a bit frustrated I asked the "manager" in the service dept. if I could speak with the general manager - service dept. and dealership are attached. I waited 20 minutes before both men arrived looking very stern and said "What exactly is YOUR problem?" I explained the issue (even though they KNEW what the issue was). They looked at each other and jointly agreed (w/o the conversation being directed my way) that the manufacturer should be notified. Meanwhile a gentleman next to me (who came in 30 minutes after I did) was able to leave immediately with a rental because his car was having an oil change.

This is not the first time things like this happen to me.

I explained this to my father and his response was ... "You get more bees with honey than you do with vinegar" WTF? Was there a time lapse back to 1962 that I am unaware of? My time and money is just as valuable as a man's.

Is this an American thing ... Is this a sexism thing?

It's depressing knowing that I have the rest of my life having to deal with this.

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Ontheroad · M

I have zero doubt that women are treated differently than men at places like auto dealerships. It's I imagine not just a thing in the U.S., but probably worldwide. Not excusable or right, it just is.

Short of addressing the sexism issue, this is how to deal with, or at least how I dealt with the issue:

I Googled the manufacturer's' customer service number and called it. It's always a toll free number and it takes a minute to get to the right person, but it takes care of the problem. I didn't need to be aggressive at all. Just stuck to my guns and wouldn't stop until I got to the right person. The result was a call from the dealership I was having a problem with. They had me bring in my vehicle, apologized for the prior crappy service, and told me they would have a loaner ready for me when I brought my vehicle in. When I got there I was met by the dealership manager and the service department manager, was whisked right through the drop off and loaner pick up process and three days later my truck was repaired and waiting for me. They threw in a free oil change as an apology and both the dealership and service manage gave me their direct contact numbers. No muss, no fuss.

You don't have to be aggressive, just refuse to take less than good service and when you don't get it, go straight to the manufacturer.

dontbekoi · 36-40, F

@Ontheroad Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. Your comment was filled with useful information that I am going to definitely use going forward. I am delighted everything worked out well for you. Let's hope I have a similar result 🤞