Why do women NEED to be sweet and kind in order to get assistance in life but men can act bold and aggressive?

I am having issues with my new car. I have brought it back to the dealership three times (which is inconvenient when you have to work) and the issue remains. Feeling a bit frustrated I asked the "manager" in the service dept. if I could speak with the general manager - service dept. and dealership are attached. I waited 20 minutes before both men arrived looking very stern and said "What exactly is YOUR problem?" I explained the issue (even though they KNEW what the issue was). They looked at each other and jointly agreed (w/o the conversation being directed my way) that the manufacturer should be notified. Meanwhile a gentleman next to me (who came in 30 minutes after I did) was able to leave immediately with a rental because his car was having an oil change.

This is not the first time things like this happen to me.

I explained this to my father and his response was ... "You get more bees with honey than you do with vinegar" WTF? Was there a time lapse back to 1962 that I am unaware of? My time and money is just as valuable as a man's.

Is this an American thing ... Is this a sexism thing?

It's depressing knowing that I have the rest of my life having to deal with this.

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REMsleep · 41-45, F

I don't like to be prejudged but the otherday I was having a medical procedure that requires twighlight anesthesia to knock me out for 20 to 30 mins. The staff had trouble starting my IV and the Dr turned around and said, " you know technically we can do this without anesthesia". He said in some places they don't have anesthesia.
I truly felt that he offered this to me because he was busy and I am black. I don't think that he would have offered to do my procedure wide awake if I was perceived to be more gentle and sweet (which unfortunately is tied to race).

The point is that people have unconscious bias period. We actually all do a little bit.
Cars are " manly" " Men know more about cars so their opinions can be trusted"
That might not be strictly true but it is unconsciously taught to us so car sales people( mostly men) do subscribe to this.
Just as studies show that pretty aggreeable babies get held twice as much as " ugly" babies so do women have to turn on the charm to get better results at times.

dontbekoi · 36-40, F

@REMsleep

FFS What is wrong with people? I am so sorry you have to deal with this too. It's sharing of experiences that allows us to feel that we belong to a bigger community outside of the body we had no choice to be born in. Thank you for making me feel that I am not alone ❤️