I’m worried I’ll never run into mr right and have fun friends to hang out with

THese days it’s loneyl. I come home from work I’m not in any groups I don’t know where to meet people. I had plenty of friends in high school. I feel inadequate for people and like people won’t even give me a chance I’m scared I won’t have any friends. My interests are swimming, running, Christianity, health stuff, people, charity, exercise. Books, movies. I feel like a loser of a twenty year old my previous break up took a toll on me. I cry because I want more out of life.will things always be this way? College isn’t going so well and my dreams and aspirations feel crushed

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BlueMetalChick · 26-30, F

You can't really do both. If you find a relationship, chances are you're not gonna have friends. I say go for the latter choice. Friendship is priceless; love is worthless.

SW-User

@BlueMetalChick That's kind of bullshit though.

BlueMetalChick · 26-30, F

@SW-User No, it's kind of not bullshit.

SW-User

@BlueMetalChick Okay; first of all, you can be friends with someone you're in a relationship with, and still hang out with your other friends. If you're in a relationship where neither of you have other friends, that's usually not a healthy relationship.

BlueMetalChick · 26-30, F

@SW-User Then about 80% of relationships are "not healthy" by your measure because tell me, how many people do you know that have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but still spend time with their friends? I think I know...two people like that? Maybe? That's the whole idea. Everyone says it's not "adult" to have friends. If you're over the age of 18, you're supposed to find a lover and stop spending time with your friends.

SW-User

@BlueMetalChick Who the fuck says that?

and just because something is the norm, doesn't mean it's healthy or it's right.

CountScrofula · 41-45, M

@BlueMetalChick You can absolutely 100% do both. People who are early on in relationships tend to ditch on their friends for the first while but eventually get over it and come up for air and socializing. Most of my friends are in relationships - the difference is the single friends are more available and less of a pain to schedule something with.

Anyone who says adults don't have friends is just justifying their isolation. The only caveat is that young kids destroy social lives pretty spectacularly because they require so much time.

BlueMetalChick · 26-30, F

@SW-User [quote]and just because something is the norm, doesn't mean it's healthy or it's right.[/quote]
Fucking THANK you. I try to tell people that so often and they look at me like I'm a silly person.

SW-User

@BlueMetalChick I'm in total agreement with you there, but I still think that friendship, and love, well romantic love, can coexist, just not for everyone. The key thing is to not have a possessive partner or be in a codependent relationship.