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Lost Opportunities

I don't feel like I own my life or my body. I feel that they both belong to my illness, I feel that this will always be my main issue. I'm not saying it's hard living like this but the circumstances I'm in aren't exactly positive I'm 27 and I have no stable income, it's depressing. There aren't exactly jobs made for me either in this stupid country and the government doesn't even help with anything either.

I'm not sure what kind of future is waiting for me if there is any. I feel like a complete failure and that I'll keep looking for online jobs forever. I see people with more severe illnesses on Instagram who are content with their lives but well I'm not trying to be ignorant and I understand they must be struggling too but their countries do actually help them have stable lives. Also on the other hand I see people with less severe illnesses who have stable lives in my country but at least they have like their upper bodies fully functional so they can get into sports and work on projects on their own etc.

And I do have a bunch of million ideas in my head and I want to create things and get into making handmade shit but again that's not going to work I'd need to hire someone to do everything for me which I won't afford. And people around me aren't free enough to help me. The only thing I can do is sit on my desk all day and have access to internet really and occasionally work on little useless projects when someone is free enough to help me. It's hard to even maintain a good mood sometimes because I'd be excited to get something done but I find myself alone and everyone is too busy for my nonsense.

I spent 2 weeks trying to get some posters printed for my wall and after I got them printed they sat for 2 more weeks and I still can't find anyone to help me put them up.

There's just no point to all of this. I don't see a way out I been complaining about this for 7 years now or something. I been struggling with life for 17 years out of 27. I can't wait till it's all over.
SW-User
1. Quit comparing yourself to others. You only see the part they want to show.
2. You are limited by many things, but not your mind. You have a great interest in a niche market. Utilise that.
skymint · 31-35, F
Before I have been struggling also with lost of opportunities. Been on and off with too many jobs just to financially support my family, and also because here they have this thing in companies called contractualization.
It was a very difficult times because I cannot get into a job that corresponds to course I've finished.
I have been depressed, I told to myself I wished to end all of this now. The mindset of 23 year old me was that - "I have enough, there's no hope in this. I am so useless. My family see me as shit. I kept on asking why do I have to take all of this, I did not do anything wrong at all"
Then when I turned 26, an opportunity came in. Despite of the fact that I did not finished any kind of business or accounting related course, the owner of the company entrusted me and gave me huge role to his new start business. I thought at first that it might only be temporary but then I am 31 now and still part of it. That span of 5 years, and I just started from nothing but I accepted it, gets every chance to learn things about it (until now), treat all my incapabilities and weaknesses not as conflict or hidrance but something that I can improve to.
Idk if me sharing this could help you, but there are some similarities, not at all.
I just want to say, don't lose the hope, take one step at a time. There are many possible good things that may happen. Be kind to yourself and have faith. 💙
ginnyfromtheblock · 26-30, F
i wish i could help you buddy. do not let anyone tell you that you have to be positive. your circumstances fucking suck. but you’re bright and kind and lovely. keep connecting with people how you can and you’ll find something to do. do not judge yourself for how far you’ve come. you are doing your best and that’s beautiful. 💖
Butterflykisses24 · 51-55, F
I would help you hang your posters if I could.I am sorry you are sick.If you ever need an ear I can listen.
kodiac · 22-25, M
If it helps any to know that you help your friends here and inspire people like me to keep pushing ahead,just know that you do matter and you do help others a lot.
Classified · M
It sucks to be limited like that 😞
GreenNatured95 · 26-30, F
Agree. Sometimes your not sure the effort is worth it.

 
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