Ship in destress calling german coast guard.... May day ... May day we are sinking.... German coastguard to ship... What are you sinking about.. (German accent. Sinking... Thinking)

I went to a zoo that only had 1 animal.... it was a shih tzu :-P

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone

LOL I love you guys!

My wife can't cook, I don't think meatloaf should glow in the dark.
For years my kids thought the smoke alarm was the dinner bell.

Thank you Dex. You're a sweetheart for coming here and saying that. Hugs

When is baseball mentioned in the Bible? Genesis 1:1. "In the beginning (big inning)..."

"Time flies like an arrow. Of course, fruit flies like a banana."
- Groucho Marx

Well, two guys walked into a bar... you'd have thought the 2nd one would have seen the 1st guy fall down

zmedleff, why don't you write a story? Or ask a question. :)

Chaud, Gosh, you have to be more original than that. That's a same joke. Okay, that's funny

You are hard to please. What would you rate it on a scale of one to ten?

Ouch. Well I laughed... *goes back to my corner*

What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?
2Na

lilnoname, thank you for my morning chuckle

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

StrangeWorld, we're all alike you know. Hahahah

Alchemy, I like that. Thank you :)

You want a story? pick a topic area...
I had over 200 stories stored on EP when it went good-byski. I am sad over the loss because while, yes, some were brief little ditties and contemporaneous, some were expansive and lengthy well written elaborate pieces .. and they're gone. I am in mourning.

That's so funny... zmedleff :p

Clone, that's not a funny. It's sorta sad in a way

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter, it won't come anyway.

Well, just look...

When I see birds fly, I think to myself: "If I was a bird, who would I shit on?"

That's cute Eddie :)

A horse upon walking into a bar is asked by the bartender "Why the long face?"

Gem, Thanks! LOL

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?"

A man walks into a bar.......ouch!

I'm a mushroom you might say, such a fun guy

Vet, well I like the name even better now. You're the man. You guys should start a new group of vets. Thanks for serving :)

Really!?!? Jess' is just ripped off from mine!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree ?
A. Because it was dead !
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree ?
A. Because he was tied to the first one !!
Why did the THIRD monkey fall out of the tree ?
A. Because he thought it was a game !!!

I hope we can chat once the PM feature is installed, Sunshine. :)

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

Hey I was just telling a joke, not sharing any personal feelings XD

Jess, I've walked into things too. Ouch is right. :)

Thank you for adding me as a friend, Sunshine. :)

StrangeWorld, yes I know that. But it wasn't funny. Hahahah :p

actually the vet in my name is that I am a veteran

Moon, you gotta 'splain that one to me

My pleasure Vetguy. I'll see you around I'm sure. :)

@sunshine He saw he conquered he came :)

well I like talking to nice people like you :)

well thank you for the support