Scotland's Baaa Steward Continues In Role For A Second Year.
Each year, one brave soul is chosen to guard Scotland’s national sheepy fluffballs from the advancing wool fancying forces from across the border. Whether it's overly curious Welsh tourists or rogue mutton rustlers disguised as rambling enthusiasts, someone must keep the sheep safe, sound, and not on anyone’s to do list.
This year, the protector of the pasturelands selected is again, Randy McEwan, who has now officially been appointed as the Randy Baaa Steward of Scotland for the second year running.
A proud title. A heavier burden. And, in this case, a slightly unfortunate name.
Randy, a former baa-rista from Stirling, says he’s “honoured to keep the flock unflustered, the visitors at hoof’s length and to uphold ewe-niversal rights for every sheep in the land.”
His key duties include, Standing between sheep and strangers that are whispering "here, lambie lambie", Checking passports at field edges for suspicious Welsh vowels and inspecting all picnic baskets for signs of romantic intent
Scotland’s B.A.A. (Border Agricultural Authority) released a statement about his successful appointment, “He was selected initially after a rigorous baa-ckground check and three months of supervised flock observation. Randy passed all checks, kept his hands to himself, and knows the difference between admiration and inappropriate baa-haviour. Randy performed his job to the highest of standards last year and we felt it was only right for him to continue in the role."
Critics have labelled the job unnecessary, But as one farmer put it, “If you've never had to pull a Welshman out a hedge with a bottle of wine and a confused sheep, you don’t get a vote.”
Fear not, fellow Scots. Randy’s still on the hill, and the sheep shall not be shagged.
