Six Nations 🏉Hydration Breaks
Six Nations organisers have confirmed that all matches will now include a 30-minute hydration break in each half, during which spectators will be allowed to go and get a beer.
The players, it was stressed, will not be getting jack shit.
“We looked at the data,” said tournament spokesman Gethin Ap-Rhydderch-Jones. “The average fan spends 34 minutes of every half queuing for a pint and misses both tries, a red card, and a streaker. This way, everyone misses nothing, because nothing will be happening.”
Under the new rules, play will stop at the 20-minute mark of each half, at which point 74,000 people will stand up simultaneously and head to the bar. Play will resume once stewards confirm that everyone is back in their seat, has apologised to the eleven people they climbed over, and has spilled roughly a third of their drink onto a stranger’s coat.
Players will be expected to remain on the pitch during the break, jogging on the spot and looking at the big screen, which will show fans enjoying themselves.
Rugby traditionalists have raised concerns that the change could disrupt the flow of the game, but supporters have pointed out that the flow of the game is already disrupted every four minutes by a TMO check lasting the length of a Peter Jackson film.
Wales fan Betty Bumflaps, 52, welcomed the move. “Last year I queued so long for a pint I missed Wales conceding four tries,” she said. “This year I’ll be able to watch every single one.”
Organisers confirmed that in the event of extreme heat, a second break may be added so fans can get another one in.
The first trial is expected to take place at Wales v England, where the break is predicted to overrun by three hours.
The players, it was stressed, will not be getting jack shit.
“We looked at the data,” said tournament spokesman Gethin Ap-Rhydderch-Jones. “The average fan spends 34 minutes of every half queuing for a pint and misses both tries, a red card, and a streaker. This way, everyone misses nothing, because nothing will be happening.”
Under the new rules, play will stop at the 20-minute mark of each half, at which point 74,000 people will stand up simultaneously and head to the bar. Play will resume once stewards confirm that everyone is back in their seat, has apologised to the eleven people they climbed over, and has spilled roughly a third of their drink onto a stranger’s coat.
Players will be expected to remain on the pitch during the break, jogging on the spot and looking at the big screen, which will show fans enjoying themselves.
Rugby traditionalists have raised concerns that the change could disrupt the flow of the game, but supporters have pointed out that the flow of the game is already disrupted every four minutes by a TMO check lasting the length of a Peter Jackson film.
Wales fan Betty Bumflaps, 52, welcomed the move. “Last year I queued so long for a pint I missed Wales conceding four tries,” she said. “This year I’ll be able to watch every single one.”
Organisers confirmed that in the event of extreme heat, a second break may be added so fans can get another one in.
The first trial is expected to take place at Wales v England, where the break is predicted to overrun by three hours.
61-69, M
