Massachusetts Legalises Wild Haggis, Boston Becomes First US City to Grant Them Protected Status
Just hours after Massachusetts became the first US state to symbolically legalise haggis, Governor Maura Healey has gone one step further by signing the historic Wild Haggis Protection Act, making Boston the first city in America where haggis are officially allowed to roam freely. There has been an overwhelming wave of public support towards the Haggis after thousands of Scots arrived for the World Cup and introduced Bostonians to the furry Highland creatures.
Many locals initially believed haggis were mythical, but after spending the past week sharing parks, pubs and baseball games with them, attitudes changed dramatically.
The new legislation also makes it illegal to hunt, trap, chase, barbecue, or attempt to ride a haggis anywhere within Massachusetts state borders.
Officials say the move finally corrects a mistake dating back to 1971, where Haggis were prohibited from entering any US state, after supposedly stealing alcohol wherever they went.
However, modern research has now concluded that the haggis were entirely innocent and that most of the incidents were actually caused by intoxicated university students.
Following the arrival of the Tartan Army this month, Boston residents have reportedly fallen in love with the creatures. Sightings have been reported across the city, with haggis seen riding the subway, attending Red Sox games, drinking in Boston Common and forming orderly queues for Boston belly rubs.
A spokesperson for the Governor said, "At this point they're basically locals."
Wildlife experts estimate that Boston's haggis population could reach 50,000 by the end of the tournament, making it the largest haggis colony outside Scotland
At publishing time, it was learned that Boston Mayor Michelle Wu heartily endorses Governor Healy's action.
"We Bostonians are much in favor of granting sanctuary and protected status to aliens, particularly if they are animals," said the Mayor, according to inside sources who spoke on condition of anonymity.
