PET HAGGIS CARE NOTICE!! WHISKY DRINKING POSTURE MATTERS
Many first time Haggis owners focus on diet, exercise, and regular hillside roaming, however leading experts are now warning that poor whisky drinking posture is becoming one of the biggest long term health risks facing domesticated Haggi across Scotland.
Veterinary specialists from the Highland Institute of Haggis Welfare have confirmed that allowing a Haggis to hunch forward while enjoying a dram can place unnecessary strain on the spine, particularly along the upper tartan vertebrae.
Over time this may lead to common age related conditions such as Chronic Glen Tilt, Lower Back Dreichness, Premature Whisky Waddle and in severe cases, Dram Induced Cold Shoulder.
Young Haggi often develop bad habits after copying older wild Haggis seen drinking directly from abandoned festival glasses or lying sideways outside village pubs. While this behaviour may look amusing, experts stress it can cause serious posture problems later in life.
A well trained Haggis should stand upright, core engaged, glass held securely in both paws, lifting the dram smoothly toward the mouth while maintaining a proud Highland stance.
The incorrect way is for to them to begin leaning forward, rounding the back, or attempting to “neck” the whisky in one go, behaviour most commonly observed after ceilidhs or Scotland rugby victories.
Owners are encouraged to supervise dram time, provide appropriately sized glasses, and limit intake to a responsible number of sips per evening unless it’s Hogmanay, where guidelines become legally unenforceable.
Remember, a Haggis cared for properly today is a Haggis still climbing hills, stealing teacakes, and judging tourists well into its later years. A straight spine means a longer dram filled life.
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And for the wild haggises (haggii?) scavenging from abandoned drinks, the better the climbing the better their ability to scale the Kelpies and other very large statues to escape hunters armed with nets....
