rather harsh punishment

There used to be an old pensioner man near me that collected all the old duff golf balls and brought them into the pub and gave them to the golfers for free drinks. They marked them and threw them back into the course on the way home. The next night, he'd appear in the pub with the same balls expecting free drinks. He really thought he'd earned those drinks and none of us had the heart to let on.

Admit it you crossed your legs just reading that

Gosh. I'm glad they didn't catch me.