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What is the craziest or funniest way you have answered your phone?

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Hello, you’ve reached Bill’s Nude Monkey Dancers with Painted Toenails. How I help you today?

Sorry, I can’t get to the phone right now. Leave a message at the beep. (yell to husband in the background) Dear, where did you put the beep?! I can’t find it. Oh, here it is. Sorry, here’s the beep. (beep).

Sorry, I saw the caller ID and knew it was you. Leave a message.

This is the operator. The asshole you're trying to reach has their head stuck up their ass. Please check the number and don't try again.

I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20-dollar bills. If you need any money or want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you’re from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
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Cynthiaa · 41-45, F
" City Morgue "
HumanEarth · F
Hey Check out my update
chuck7882 · 61-69, M
"FOR THE LAST TIME, I DON'T WANT YOUR EXTENDED WARRANTY"
lissah · 36-40, F
brian29715 · 51-55, M
@lissah You’re a real wild one 😂🤣
lissah · 36-40, F
@brian29715 i know right
Umile · 41-45, F
Yello. So and so, the best of the best, can I help you?
HumanEarth · F
Check out my update
Umile · 41-45, F
@HumanEarth will do. I know it's gonna be a good one. You should do a bunch.
HumanEarth · F
Hello, you’ve reached Bill’s Nude Monkey Dancers with Painted Toenails. How I help you today?
dirge · M
I was poking the bear for a while and I'd answer, 'NSA listening point 94; this is <me>'
HumanEarth · F
Check my update
HumanEarth · F
Hello, you’ve reached Bill’s Nude Monkey Dancers with Painted Toenails. How I help you today?
SW-User
Turn up the death metal, click on green button, lay the phone down on speaker
HumanEarth · F
Hello, you’ve reached Bill’s Nude Monkey Dancers with Painted Toenails. How I help you today?

And you thought I was done
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