Terrible Christmas jokes

From Readers Digest
1. Did you hear about the man who stole an Advent calendar?
He got 25 days.

2. What do you call a bunch of chess masters bragging about their games in a hotel lobby over the holidays?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

3. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose!

4. Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?
Because he went down in history.

5. What is a vegan’s favorite Christmas carol?
“Soy to the World.”

6. How does the snow globe feel this year?
A little shaken.

7. Why do reindeer like Beyoncé so much?
She sleighs.

8. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
Rude-olph.

9. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet!

10. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Ice Krispies.

11. How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out?
They spruce up!

12. What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
Stick with me, and we’ll go places!

13. What do you call a shark that delivers toys at Christmas?
Santa Jaws.

14. What do you call a Christmas rom-com about bread?
Loaf Actually.

15. How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed.

16. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsillitis!

17. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has no-el.

18. What do you call a search engine that sings the best Christmas songs?
Michael Googlé.

19. What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas carol?
“Silent Night.”

20. What did the gingerbread man say after all the cookies were eaten?
It’s so hard to bake new friends