I Want Someone I Can Tell Anything To

My husband and I have been struggling in our relationship. I have developed a crush on two men related to my work. One was a supervisor and the most recent was a customer. It never went any where and I never told them. My husband found out about the first a year later when I had written about him on a different site. I was more upset that he had been basically stalking me online and he was upset that I had had a crush and felt that I didn't want to be in our relationship anymore. I struggle with telling him about how I really feel about anything. I never tell anyone everything and never have. Back to the topic though. My second crush that was on a customer. He's a regular where I work and I think he's cute. I think he tried to ask me out one time but I can't tell if someone is flirting unless they are direct. I laughed and walked away. Later on I thought about the situation and texted a friend about it. My husband looked through my phone and found the messages. He thought I wanted to leave him for this guy. This was several months ago and we still haven't really recovered. He thinks I am emotionally unfaithful and I feel like I have no outlet to express how I feel because he always finds it and gets hurt by it. I have no desire to cheat on my husband. I just have never truly let someone in and I don't know how to break down that barrier I have or if I even want to.