I Am Very Selective When It Comes to Letting People Get Close

Not everyone has the same heart as I do, and having had my heart broken beyond belief I have learned to be more cautious in my attempt to protect it. Especially concerning men. Bad memories, hurtful words and betrayal have made me more careful about who I let into my life and how I get to know them. Because many people simply don't deserve my trust. Finding ones who stay loyal, have your back and keep your secrets is becoming more rare. Why is this? My thoughts, feelings, heartbreaks and dreams may not mean as much to someone else, even if they pretend it does. Some know what it means to be great friends and genuinely care while others only care about themselves. Online, I am sure this is even more of a problem which is why no one needs to know that much about me. Sharing your personal life with so many people is a big risk, but it's fine to be a little cynical and it's okay to not be too trusting. It just means being extra careful about those I let into my life and heart.

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Highonheels · 51-55, M

Unfortunately I feel somewhat the same way about women but I like to think that to receive love , trust and respect you must also earn love trust & respect so you have to be somewhat open to it in order to give it yourself but at the same time you have to love , trust and respect yourself in order to earn others love , trust and respect it’s a rather viscous circle really. The problem I think these days is people get together for many of the wrong reasons and they usually don’t give themselves enough time to really get to know eachother but then some people change after marriage sets in , granted marriage can be a difficult union in the first place then you start haveing a family the stress of jobs , family and social life financial stress it can be a little bit too much at times then it becomes a job just to keep the marriage alive then she or he becomes a totally different person with having to deal with it all.
I’ll be honest I used to believe in soulmates and still somewhat do but I thought my wife was it I told myself once I was married I’d never get divorced , HA man was I wrong I couldn’t stand being with her after 15 years and three kids she completely changed into someone who I didn’t even know anymore & we dated for 4 years before marriage I though I knew her but marriage changes people I actually became someone I didn’t even recognize she treated me like crap almost the whole time except when she wanted a baby then she was all lovey dovey but when I said number 3 was it it was a total switch in attitude and personality & I dealt with it for several years untill I just couldn’t do it anymore , I gave in or finally got the courage and left her , I hated leaving my kids behind but the guy I became then they wouldn’t have wanted to be around but since then I’ve done a lot of soul searching and I am better and stronger for it and a much better father who my kids love and respect , thanks be to god for giving me the strength to do what was best for me and my kids.