Do you feel scared to make online friends because of being hurt in the past?

No, I'm just generally overly cautious and paranoid and don't want to get caught in some unnecessary drama. I also believe that the best friendships form through doing things together in real life and real time, not through exchanging words and pictures in online space. How can you build a real trust over that?

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thewindupbirdchronicles · 41-45, M

@CrazyMusicLover The best connections don't need pictures exchanged. Words can and do offer more, and once those are seen together, then maybe pictures? Words offer much more towards trust when they are felt. But if you are generally overly cautious and paranoid, you may not allow yourself this.... (and I'm not saying it's unwise of you, or unhealthy, and it's rare..... but connection is rare in person, too)

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

@thewindupbirdchronicles I just miss the body language and other non-verbal parts of interaction. They are very important for me to decide if I can trust someone or not.

thewindupbirdchronicles · 41-45, M

@CrazyMusicLover As anyone and likewise. They are our intrinsic language in words before words. Beyond different customs, between cultures, I work with many different cultures... a smile is a smile, and you can just read body language to feel what is not put into words (trusted) so often.... and the silence between two people talking in only body language is one [b]almost[/b] no language can match....

DrWatson · 70-79, M

I have been hurt in the past by this.

But I am not afraid to make online friends now.

The reason is that my own attitude has matured about what I seek and do not seek from online friends.

MoonlightLullaby · 41-45, F

My closest friends are online. I'm definitely much more gaurded & selective, but can't let past hurts control my current and or future.

thinkingoutloud · F

I no longer like making friends online because it is based on just words and anything based on just words isn't sustainable long term. The hurt is inevitable, Eventually peoples traumas and insecurities show up and very likely to clash. I like sticking to having fun with people, and coming and going as I please, without obligation.

SW-User

@thinkingoutloud I agree with what you are saying.

Raaii · 18-21, F

Ofcourse I do
But then it's the same in offline life too
Atleast as an introvert when it's online there's some control from my side
When I feel like I need some space / time alone instead of socializing there's no pressure on me , none forces me and I don't have to go to extreme to satisfy people around me

lonelyloner · 31-35, F

nope not in online friends but it's true i scared and avoid people in real life and being touch with them emotional bcoz never want to bleed again as my past

AlienFox · F

I fear making friends because I'm drained

benfaltiger004 · 46-50, M

It depends on how you look at online friendship.
I have met some good people online .. but cannot say they are all my friends. You have to be cautious about each and every one of them. Although, I have met a very few online friends in person and continued to remain friends to this day.

thewindupbirdchronicles · 41-45, M

Yes, but not from hurts in the past online. Hurts follow me around. If anything, the friendships I have built here (online), have helped me learn to trust again in finding friends, including you, Alice.

AliceinWonderland · F

@thewindupbirdchronicles thanks birdie <3

thewindupbirdchronicles · 41-45, M

@AliceinWonderland You're welcome and thank you.

turnedtostone · 56-60, F

To be honest I'm not really sure they were friends.
I have turnedtostone as far as the internet is concerned.

So now I just spout off nonsense mostly and live my life in the real world.

SW-User

I wasnt hurt. I just dont feel like being lied to constantly. You just cant trust anything they say. More than half of the men are married and im positive their wives arent aware of their online activities. A fourth of them (at least) are bisexual or gay or curious. The other ones think they are Gods gift to women and flirt with anything that walks or has legs. You can talk to someone for years and then they block you, ignore you, or ghost you. Online is just a game to lotta people they care about themselves and thats as far as it goes. Thats why i dont answer the majority of my pms.