I don’t if know anyone is available

Okay so right now, i really don't know what's going on in my mind and heart. I'm experiencing mixed emotions and feeling overwhelmed. I've always wanted to talk to a specialist who can understand what's going on with me, because I feel like I'm really complicated I’m a paradox. However, it’s within my reach I think. either because it's not common on my place or because I couldn't afford it. But what I really want is to talk to someone who will listen to me. I don't care if you judge me or not. I just want an honest opinion or theory about what you think is going on with me or maybe what's not normal. I just want to know how you would define me or if you think I'm still normal.

Can i talk to someone about this?