I want friends but I have no idea how to make them at this point in my life

I'm pretty boring to talk to honestly I'm going through a lot. My mom has stage 4 cancer. My dog is probably going to die soon as well and she is my best friend she is like 14 starting to be in pain every day. My dad who I looked up to my whole life is losing his mind with grief because he lost his mom last year and now my mom's getting bad and he never sleeps and I think probably has a coke problem or something. I have two friends who I never talk to and aren't ever there for me. I don't trust anyone I've been screwed over by all my friends and relationships in the past I don't even want to leave my house. I dated the same girl from the age of 16 until I was 22 and she cheated on me with someone I thought was a good friend to me and all of my other friends at the time hid it behind my back. Ever since every relationship all anyone wants from me is money and sex and a place to live. I get I'm boring but literally every human I've got close to just screws me in the end. I'm so lonely and I honestly just want to give up on humanity in general.

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BrokenAbyss

I mostly gave up.

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. That is a lot and I’m sure so hard to see the ones you love suffer. They love you, but being so wrapped up in their own grief, it’s difficult to connect.

Outside of family pain, I am so confused also why everyone I date just wants to take. Like they see you’re in pain and go in for more.

I don’t understand life, I’ve only found ways to enjoy who I am with music and arts. And my dog. I stay away from people because I’m bored with pain. I know now I’m strong enough, and full of feelings to sort through, having outside influence or drama became destructive.

I wish it didn’t have to be that way. I wish I could have my parents, or a family or even one friend, but it didn’t work out. So I pursue my passions and continue to hold out hope that love will find its way to me again.

LizardKing420 · 26-30, M

@BrokenAbyss that's really nice of you thank you. I like music a lot too. I bet you play good stuff I'd give you a listen after all you took the time to read my giant post. Honestly I didn't think anyone would I just wrote it to try to feel better, but its nice to know there's good people who go out of their way to make a stranger feel better like yourself. That means a lot so thank you.

BrokenAbyss

@LizardKing420 I understand, because I’m a lonely one too. I, for some reason, can’t stop caring even though life has completely crapped on me. Kindness to strangers is my social interaction. It’s my way to give when I have to shut myself down otherwise. I believe everyone inherently deserves to be acknowledged, accepted and appreciated. Even if I don’t get it back, I put it out there and it cost me nothing. All I can do is hope it passes on.

420 helps…

But truly, going through so much, you deserve a hug, not more loneliness. You don’t know me but I believe in you because you were brave enough to speak from your heart. Stay strong and curious.

LizardKing420 · 26-30, M

@BrokenAbyss you know you're right I do deserve a hug lol. And yea 420 helps it's always 420 over here lol... Also you seem really nice we should be friends.

Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M

[media=https://youtu.be/avYxiIRG4xQ]

Ouch!! That's a lot to deal with.
Our dog is fifteen. He's sleeping by my leg right now and yeah, they become our best friends. Our most trusted friends.
I have lost both of my parents too. My dad died when I was 24. My gf died of cancer in 2010. My first wife left us in '97 so I was a single dad. Been through layoffs. All I can say is gang in there. You'll make it. Something good will happen to you. Maybe you'll meet someone honest that you can love and lives you back. Might want to give church a try. At least the folks there will be nice.

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Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M

@LizardKing420 It helps.

LizardKing420 · 26-30, M

@Tastyfrzz wow you're a really good writer man. That's amazing I really like the poem titled something about having a story to tell it was actually really beautiful I'm glad I read it. Sorry for creeping at your profile lol.

Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M

@LizardKing420 that's why they're there.

Lilnonames · F

[media=https://youtu.be/krxU5Y9lCS8]

LizardKing420 · 26-30, M

@Lilnonames I love the stones they actually recorded in my hometown way back before I was born.

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