Who Was Wondering About Liking People ?
So, last night, right before I closed the laptop and went to bed, I saw a post that was basically saying that she finds it weird if someone says they like her before they share a bunch of interpersonal conversations. I took a quick look this morning but didn't find it again.
Anyways, I had a few thoughts, my coffee is kicking in, and I absolutely love to type things so long that people won't read them all the way through. So, here goes....
I'm forced to assume that she must be talking about the more romantic sense of the word? Though without much clear context present at the time I saw it, who can really say for sure? Given that I can't be sure at this time, maybe I'll just ramble on about all my thoughts on the matter?
(I just typed the word maybe and that's definitely misleading for sure - I'm definitely going to ramble 😊)
Assuming that she was talking about the romantic sense, then it's quite easy to see where she's coming from and easier to know where she's going with it. I'd be forced to readily agree with her premise, and I'd have very few things to offer against it.
But as that wouldn't serve my selfish purposes of typing under the influence of too much caffeine (is there even such a thing?), I'll ignore that supposition for now and just keep typing.
(half the people that made it this far just left 🥱)
For me..., I like everybody. Right up until the point that I don't. I come here to Similar Worlds and type my rhymes, vent some of my frustrations, comment on people's things, and almost always try to be kind. I go into almost every interaction with the predisposed disposition of "Liking". After all, and even though I know it's not true, I want to believe that ALL people are good people deep down inside. I manage to settle for the thought that at least MOST people are inherently Good.
There are all kinds of ways to like someone, or to even be liked by someone. But when you go into an interaction with a Liking mindset, it becomes far easier to like everyone in the way that I usually do. When you enter into it with the intention of kindness, it becomes easier for people to like you. And, while there are no hard and fast rules for liking or being liked, I've found these 2 particular predispositions to be very helpful if your intentions are to cultivate friendships.
I have what I would only describe as a tiny circle of friends here on SW. I'd like to think that every one of my friends actually likes me in their own way. I make no claim that that is the actual case, though I do wish to believe it to be.
When it comes to the way I LIKE people, well..., it comes in varying degrees of intensity. But having gone into it with the thought of Liking to begin with, I find it easier to build upon and increase the intensity or value of that feeling and turn it into a friendship. And though I call all the people on my list Friends, it should be obvious to everyone that some friends are closer to my heart than others. Still, if anyone has ever gotten a friends request from me, then I kinda like you for whatever reason of my own that sits inside my mind.
Likewise, if you've ever sent me a request and I followed you back, you can rest assured that I went to your profile, looked at your about me, checked into your photos, read a couple of stories and I found something to LIKE, and was curious enough to get to know you a bit more over the course of time.
If I didn't accept, then I probably just found myself thinking that you're okay but not someone that I'll make much effort towards ever trying to know too deeply. And that shouldn't be construed as me having anything negative towards you (though in some cases that's definitely the case), but rather that I am a bit particular about who I'm going to follow and who I will or may not try to cultivate a deeper connection with.
I can be friendly with anyone for the most part. But cultivating friendships is a whole other thing. I often feel bad enough already because of my available time to reply to the people I want to be friends with, and how often that time gets away from me. Even from my list of friends now, there are people I haven't talked to for a good while. That does have an effect on me, but there's only so much any of us can do, and as I said earlier in this post, some of the people on my list may not even consider me a friend or like me all that much to begin with? That's not to say that anyone has really become less important, but just that time here travels in these tiny pockets of moments that I try to make use of.
(I'm sure that another half of those that didn't leave the first time are certainly gone by now and yet I continue to type 😜)
All of this leads me back to the start of my ponderings and now I shall pontificate profusely in my own full-circle type of way.
LIKE as in LOVING or the Romantic Sense of Like:
I love all my friends! When I say that I do not believe I am lying. Mostly because I don't lie. I could go into all of my perceptions of LOVE and the many ways in which I think it can be felt and expressed, but that's a whole other post and that could possibly be longer than this one. (yes, I actually could write a longer post than this 😎)
Perhaps it would be more succinct, and serve a more direct purpose for me to simply say:
"I HAVE Love for ALL My Friends Here." ❓
That love is not romantic per'se, though at times in the past it has been, both here on SW and at EP. Despite my proclivity to become easily attached to friends and lovers alike, the instance where my liking turns toward the romantic are few and far between. Sometimes that has been returned and other times it hasn't.
I talked earlier about the degrees of Liking, and obviously my predisposed LIKE is the base level of my Liking. Whereas, the Romantic LIKE would be considered the highest level of Liking that borders on the Romantic Loving scale of the degrees of my love. (not to be confused with my inherent love for all people and the Love I HAVE for friends) This degree is best described, I think, as a CRUSH. I don't really believe you need to know someone in an overly personal type of way to develop one either.
I have a crush here. That shouldn't surprise anyone, as many people here have crushes on other members. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if there was someone out there crushing on me. (though I do tend to doubt that, and no one has presented themselves directly to me in that context presently - it's also very conceited for anyone to assume such a thing without context or a clear declaration - I am not conceited)
I crush on her because I think she's smart, funny, kind, cute, and sexy. This crush exists even though we have not over shared intimate details of ourselves with each other. Though postings and interactions do offer insights to all of us about each other and sometimes that leads into the more amorous version of Liking.
A crush I would consider to be Romantic for the purposes of this conversation, and I would likely consider it to be somewhere in the very beginning ranges of the scale of Romantic Liking and there are all kinds of things that would need to take place (at least as far as I'm concerned) for it to ever move forward on the scale that travels up to the Love scale.
Okay.., so anyone that's still here may find themselves wondering what's the point of all this rambling, and self indulgent typing?
And I'd say to you all that made it this far, That's a very good question, and one I am about to answer.
As you might recall (or perhaps not given how long this is taking) the OP of the post I saw asked how one person can say they like another without meaningful and progressing conversations that allow personalities and intentions to reveal themselves ?
I proffered immediately that I was forced to assume she meant the Romantic Like. As that is the general assumption I am making, I am also forced to fully agree with her in that regard.
One cannot really like someone in that way without first getting to know them in more intimate ways.
Anyone that thinks they're Liking someone like that I believe to be in a crush phase at best.
Delusional at worst, depending upon how far they take it and what they might be trying to talk themselves into feeling.
But feeling like that, when not built up from a foundation of interest, curiosity, and vulnerability, and/or is not readily returned, I don't believe can ever really be considered to travel any higher on the scale than an initial crushing stage. Unless of course delusion enters into it and displaces reality. I do believe it possible to maintain a crush and be just friends as well. But that is a whole other matter that could possibly be discussed.
With all of these things said..., The heart will want what the heart will want, and the mind is fairly powerless in the face of that. Though that is not to say that the mind cannot both control and subdue the heart in these matters. It's simply to say the heart can want and often does want. I think it important for people to protect their hearts and to use both their minds and souls to acknowledge and contain the heart. Saving it from harm and keeping it safe for the right person to come along that they can like in a way that might possibly graduate into the Loving Scale.
These are only my thoughts and shouldn't be taken too seriously or in any way that assumes some intention towards anyone specific at all in any way. I do hope you stayed all the way through and found something worthwhile or entertaining herein? Feel free to leave your own thoughts in the comments. Though my fingers could use a break so it may be a little bit before I get back to anyone on it with more than a reaction.
And with that, I release you back to the fun, mindless, sometimes interesting, and always welcomed distractions you come to this site for.
Have a happy Sunday filled with smiles.
And, as always:
Be well
Live happy
Keep trying.
Rob
💛
P.S. Thanks to OlderSometimesWiser for letting me know that it was greensnacks who was the original poster of the post that inspired this post. You can find a screenshot of it in the comments.
Anyways, I had a few thoughts, my coffee is kicking in, and I absolutely love to type things so long that people won't read them all the way through. So, here goes....
I'm forced to assume that she must be talking about the more romantic sense of the word? Though without much clear context present at the time I saw it, who can really say for sure? Given that I can't be sure at this time, maybe I'll just ramble on about all my thoughts on the matter?
(I just typed the word maybe and that's definitely misleading for sure - I'm definitely going to ramble 😊)
Assuming that she was talking about the romantic sense, then it's quite easy to see where she's coming from and easier to know where she's going with it. I'd be forced to readily agree with her premise, and I'd have very few things to offer against it.
But as that wouldn't serve my selfish purposes of typing under the influence of too much caffeine (is there even such a thing?), I'll ignore that supposition for now and just keep typing.
(half the people that made it this far just left 🥱)
For me..., I like everybody. Right up until the point that I don't. I come here to Similar Worlds and type my rhymes, vent some of my frustrations, comment on people's things, and almost always try to be kind. I go into almost every interaction with the predisposed disposition of "Liking". After all, and even though I know it's not true, I want to believe that ALL people are good people deep down inside. I manage to settle for the thought that at least MOST people are inherently Good.
There are all kinds of ways to like someone, or to even be liked by someone. But when you go into an interaction with a Liking mindset, it becomes far easier to like everyone in the way that I usually do. When you enter into it with the intention of kindness, it becomes easier for people to like you. And, while there are no hard and fast rules for liking or being liked, I've found these 2 particular predispositions to be very helpful if your intentions are to cultivate friendships.
I have what I would only describe as a tiny circle of friends here on SW. I'd like to think that every one of my friends actually likes me in their own way. I make no claim that that is the actual case, though I do wish to believe it to be.
When it comes to the way I LIKE people, well..., it comes in varying degrees of intensity. But having gone into it with the thought of Liking to begin with, I find it easier to build upon and increase the intensity or value of that feeling and turn it into a friendship. And though I call all the people on my list Friends, it should be obvious to everyone that some friends are closer to my heart than others. Still, if anyone has ever gotten a friends request from me, then I kinda like you for whatever reason of my own that sits inside my mind.
Likewise, if you've ever sent me a request and I followed you back, you can rest assured that I went to your profile, looked at your about me, checked into your photos, read a couple of stories and I found something to LIKE, and was curious enough to get to know you a bit more over the course of time.
If I didn't accept, then I probably just found myself thinking that you're okay but not someone that I'll make much effort towards ever trying to know too deeply. And that shouldn't be construed as me having anything negative towards you (though in some cases that's definitely the case), but rather that I am a bit particular about who I'm going to follow and who I will or may not try to cultivate a deeper connection with.
I can be friendly with anyone for the most part. But cultivating friendships is a whole other thing. I often feel bad enough already because of my available time to reply to the people I want to be friends with, and how often that time gets away from me. Even from my list of friends now, there are people I haven't talked to for a good while. That does have an effect on me, but there's only so much any of us can do, and as I said earlier in this post, some of the people on my list may not even consider me a friend or like me all that much to begin with? That's not to say that anyone has really become less important, but just that time here travels in these tiny pockets of moments that I try to make use of.
(I'm sure that another half of those that didn't leave the first time are certainly gone by now and yet I continue to type 😜)
All of this leads me back to the start of my ponderings and now I shall pontificate profusely in my own full-circle type of way.
LIKE as in LOVING or the Romantic Sense of Like:
I love all my friends! When I say that I do not believe I am lying. Mostly because I don't lie. I could go into all of my perceptions of LOVE and the many ways in which I think it can be felt and expressed, but that's a whole other post and that could possibly be longer than this one. (yes, I actually could write a longer post than this 😎)
Perhaps it would be more succinct, and serve a more direct purpose for me to simply say:
"I HAVE Love for ALL My Friends Here." ❓
That love is not romantic per'se, though at times in the past it has been, both here on SW and at EP. Despite my proclivity to become easily attached to friends and lovers alike, the instance where my liking turns toward the romantic are few and far between. Sometimes that has been returned and other times it hasn't.
I talked earlier about the degrees of Liking, and obviously my predisposed LIKE is the base level of my Liking. Whereas, the Romantic LIKE would be considered the highest level of Liking that borders on the Romantic Loving scale of the degrees of my love. (not to be confused with my inherent love for all people and the Love I HAVE for friends) This degree is best described, I think, as a CRUSH. I don't really believe you need to know someone in an overly personal type of way to develop one either.
I have a crush here. That shouldn't surprise anyone, as many people here have crushes on other members. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if there was someone out there crushing on me. (though I do tend to doubt that, and no one has presented themselves directly to me in that context presently - it's also very conceited for anyone to assume such a thing without context or a clear declaration - I am not conceited)
I crush on her because I think she's smart, funny, kind, cute, and sexy. This crush exists even though we have not over shared intimate details of ourselves with each other. Though postings and interactions do offer insights to all of us about each other and sometimes that leads into the more amorous version of Liking.
A crush I would consider to be Romantic for the purposes of this conversation, and I would likely consider it to be somewhere in the very beginning ranges of the scale of Romantic Liking and there are all kinds of things that would need to take place (at least as far as I'm concerned) for it to ever move forward on the scale that travels up to the Love scale.
Okay.., so anyone that's still here may find themselves wondering what's the point of all this rambling, and self indulgent typing?
And I'd say to you all that made it this far, That's a very good question, and one I am about to answer.
As you might recall (or perhaps not given how long this is taking) the OP of the post I saw asked how one person can say they like another without meaningful and progressing conversations that allow personalities and intentions to reveal themselves ?
I proffered immediately that I was forced to assume she meant the Romantic Like. As that is the general assumption I am making, I am also forced to fully agree with her in that regard.
One cannot really like someone in that way without first getting to know them in more intimate ways.
Anyone that thinks they're Liking someone like that I believe to be in a crush phase at best.
Delusional at worst, depending upon how far they take it and what they might be trying to talk themselves into feeling.
But feeling like that, when not built up from a foundation of interest, curiosity, and vulnerability, and/or is not readily returned, I don't believe can ever really be considered to travel any higher on the scale than an initial crushing stage. Unless of course delusion enters into it and displaces reality. I do believe it possible to maintain a crush and be just friends as well. But that is a whole other matter that could possibly be discussed.
With all of these things said..., The heart will want what the heart will want, and the mind is fairly powerless in the face of that. Though that is not to say that the mind cannot both control and subdue the heart in these matters. It's simply to say the heart can want and often does want. I think it important for people to protect their hearts and to use both their minds and souls to acknowledge and contain the heart. Saving it from harm and keeping it safe for the right person to come along that they can like in a way that might possibly graduate into the Loving Scale.
These are only my thoughts and shouldn't be taken too seriously or in any way that assumes some intention towards anyone specific at all in any way. I do hope you stayed all the way through and found something worthwhile or entertaining herein? Feel free to leave your own thoughts in the comments. Though my fingers could use a break so it may be a little bit before I get back to anyone on it with more than a reaction.
And with that, I release you back to the fun, mindless, sometimes interesting, and always welcomed distractions you come to this site for.
Have a happy Sunday filled with smiles.
And, as always:
Be well
Live happy
Keep trying.
Rob
💛
P.S. Thanks to OlderSometimesWiser for letting me know that it was greensnacks who was the original poster of the post that inspired this post. You can find a screenshot of it in the comments.
