Can you compliment guys and be nice to them without them thinking you are hitting on them?

In real life I feel like I always have to act abrasive and like a b*tch around guys because any time I'm nice I get the overwhelming feeling that they think I am hitting on them or want to date them. Like I would love to give guys compliments and be a nice person but I have heard from friends and stories about guys who think that gives them permission to do stuff with the girls. I also hateee if anyone knows I have a crush on them so I just outright avoid them and force myself to stop crushing. But I want to be able to have guy friends. Real dilemma here.

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DecafD

Yeah no doesn’t work...sorry. You have to remain professional for a while to friend zone only and after that has been established is when you can give compliments and they won’t think that bc they know you already.

newdawnnewday · 22-25, F

@DecafD Yeah but its so sad :( I feel like guys aren't shown enough platonic affection that can help raise their confidence. I am just always scared at how it may come off.

DecafD

@newdawnnewday guys already have a natural leg up in society so I wouldn’t worry too much about boosting confidence with platonic affection. Guys already notice when you notice them so it’s enough. Plus you verbalizing it adds to that and that’s why it’s taken the wrong way. If I notice someone looking at me and making mental notes, then I know they like me as a person. If same someone comes up and takes time to let me know they like something about me when no one else is doing that to me...yeah...I’ll think they like me like that.

newdawnnewday · 22-25, F

@DecafD But what if they are just nice and wanted to brighten up your day? Also what about in situations with guy friends rather than strangers? Like this one time this guy I knew was having girl troubles and he was feeling really down about himself and I wanted to be like dude you are cute you will find someone else but I just knew it would get taken the wrong way as if I like him

DecafD

@newdawnnewday I know what you mean. It goes back to the other commenter on here that said something about how you specifically deliver that message. So it couldn’t be...bc you’re cute you’ll find someone bc all they’ll hear is “cute”. The friend zone version of that compliment is, “even the ugliest MF on earth has a girlfriend so I’m pretty sure you’ll find someone. Don’t worry”. See what I mean?

Can’t say..”you look good today”...all I hear is “good”. Say, “you look very professional and put together today. You’re lookin out for that employee award soon, huh?”.

newdawnnewday · 22-25, F

@DecafD oooh I like those examples!! thank you!! I feel like the ugliest MF one is lowkey backhanded tho and can be taken the wrong way haha but I still like it

DecafD

@newdawnnewday hahaha yeah totally didn’t mean that he’d be in comparison. Glad to help!

newdawnnewday · 22-25, F

@DecafD knowing my insecure ass I would def take it like that but I got what you meant haha