Bah. Humbug.

I’m just gonna ramble about this because it irks me. There’s a lady at work I ….don’t like? I’m not sure. I don’t really know her so that doesn’t seem quite accurate. I mean, we all know a fair bit about each other in general because we’re just that kind of department, but nothing of the facts that I know about her are in any way bad. I’m just strongly averse to her. When she talks, in meetings, I want to mute her. I don’t know why. She’s not rude. In fact, every group she’s on is geared toward positivity. She’s wooden and her eyes are closed even when they’re open. There’s no warmth in her voice, but I know - I know! - this could easily be explained by a basic discomfort with public speaking, and that usually doesn’t elicit anything but compassion from me. Still she makes me want to run, put distance between us. She twists my insides like she’s wringing out a dishcloth. Everyone else seems fine with her. I just don’t get it. I can’t think of a time I’ve had this before without an apparent reason. Usually my inexplicables are those people I feel compelled to touch, to hug even when I don’t know them much at all and my default is not only to respect personal space but preferably add in a good five feet and get away before I make the awkwardness too awfully painful. I’m grateful for those. I don’t mind that I don’t know where they come from or even how bewildered those poor souls look sometimes. It bothers me to feel this negative thing without reason.