Oh just the thoughts…
I was checking out the new songs Apple presented for my listening pleasure. This is nice of them, as they mush everything together and I don’t know most of the names so I have to hit play without prejudice and end up hearing some of the genres I’ll skip if left to my own devices. Anyway, I’m assuming this was a country song. Not so twangy I felt compelled to move on, but just a hint there. Kind of cliched “dancing in the rain,” but it fell along those lines of things that go down smoothly despite the list of reasons it shouldn’t. Like how I can happily watch Gods of Egypt over and over while thinking “god this is awful.” 😂
I wandered.
The song seems to be about a volatile relationship, which may have been part of what held me. Have you ever had one of those? I have not, so it’s a curiosity to me. I don’t believe that I’ve avoided this because I’ve been lucky (or unlucky, I suppose, depending on your perspective as the fellow singing the song seemed to like it). I have avoided it because I’m not capable of it. My lively passions are positive things, really only set free where they’re welcome and easily tucked away inside my heart to bounce like happy little loony toons. My darker passions are quiet and pensive. Even I sometimes hesitate to call those passions, but they are deeply and profoundly felt so we’ll say they qualify for the sake of argument. You may laugh, but I did try raising my voice once just to see if I could. I was 19 and watching my peers and felt like I was doing my age incorrectly, so when the next frustration arose, I stood before him and raised my voice, but it distracted me and confused us both so it was a hasty and clumsy experiment that was never repeated. 😂 I went back to being that stone upon which the waves will crash and thus, by default it seems, I discourage the waves themselves from ever growing too restless in my partners. I wonder sometimes if that’s why no one has ever loved me madly. Perhaps not everyone can so easily function as unbalanced as I can, can love loudly but rail quietly, and since I will bend to love quietly but not to rail loudly, everything just gets toned down as a result. Possibility I suppose, and I have no complaints anymore. Just another one of those things that makes me listen to a song and ponder the wide range of what we’re capable of.
I wandered.
The song seems to be about a volatile relationship, which may have been part of what held me. Have you ever had one of those? I have not, so it’s a curiosity to me. I don’t believe that I’ve avoided this because I’ve been lucky (or unlucky, I suppose, depending on your perspective as the fellow singing the song seemed to like it). I have avoided it because I’m not capable of it. My lively passions are positive things, really only set free where they’re welcome and easily tucked away inside my heart to bounce like happy little loony toons. My darker passions are quiet and pensive. Even I sometimes hesitate to call those passions, but they are deeply and profoundly felt so we’ll say they qualify for the sake of argument. You may laugh, but I did try raising my voice once just to see if I could. I was 19 and watching my peers and felt like I was doing my age incorrectly, so when the next frustration arose, I stood before him and raised my voice, but it distracted me and confused us both so it was a hasty and clumsy experiment that was never repeated. 😂 I went back to being that stone upon which the waves will crash and thus, by default it seems, I discourage the waves themselves from ever growing too restless in my partners. I wonder sometimes if that’s why no one has ever loved me madly. Perhaps not everyone can so easily function as unbalanced as I can, can love loudly but rail quietly, and since I will bend to love quietly but not to rail loudly, everything just gets toned down as a result. Possibility I suppose, and I have no complaints anymore. Just another one of those things that makes me listen to a song and ponder the wide range of what we’re capable of.
