Security (as a story, question, experience or thought)
At a work meeting several months ago a bunch of us went out to a local tavern after dinner. It was walking distance of the hotel and one of these little hipster wanna be hippy hole in the wall places that could not mix an old fashioned if their life depended on it.
I don't drink much any more (although I did in my day) but the crew I was with was well in their cups. One of my friends was looking and pointing at the two bathroom doors at the far end of the bar. Above each was a sign that did not have "men" or "women" but rather a stick figure of a man, a woman, a dinosaur, an alien and a bigfoot. I am sure the point was that you should use which ever one was not occupied.
As he looked at the doors, he leaned over and said, "Man, I have to piss. Which one should I use?" I replied, "I don't think it makes a difference."
"Bullshit!" he replied, "I don't want to walk in on a lady or have one walk in on me!" "Maybe I will just wait until someone else uses one and then decide based on that."
I shook my head and looked at my inebriated friend. "They are obviously small bathrooms. If someone is in there and hasn't locked the door it is their own damn fault if you walk in on them no matter what their gender." "The same as if you aren't smart enough to lock the door after yourself, you are almost asking to be walked in on. Just go choose one and take a piss!"
One of the gals, who also happened to be a lawyer, that was with us, overheard this exchange and, having a pretty good sense of humor, looked at my friend and said, "What's the matter? Aren't you gender secure?" She had a slight smile on her face as she said this which indicated to me she was stirring the pot.
"What do you mean?" he asked, "What's Gender Secure mean?" She replied, "So you aren't? What are you afraid of, that someone might accidently see your wiener? If you have one?"
Now my friend was sputtering and the rest of us were laughing and she looked at me and said, "Goliath, are you gender secure?"
I replied, "If I have to go bad enough I will piss in the sink behind the bar! The World is my Urinal!"
"See?" she said, motioning to my friend, "He is gender secure."
I don't drink much any more (although I did in my day) but the crew I was with was well in their cups. One of my friends was looking and pointing at the two bathroom doors at the far end of the bar. Above each was a sign that did not have "men" or "women" but rather a stick figure of a man, a woman, a dinosaur, an alien and a bigfoot. I am sure the point was that you should use which ever one was not occupied.
As he looked at the doors, he leaned over and said, "Man, I have to piss. Which one should I use?" I replied, "I don't think it makes a difference."
"Bullshit!" he replied, "I don't want to walk in on a lady or have one walk in on me!" "Maybe I will just wait until someone else uses one and then decide based on that."
I shook my head and looked at my inebriated friend. "They are obviously small bathrooms. If someone is in there and hasn't locked the door it is their own damn fault if you walk in on them no matter what their gender." "The same as if you aren't smart enough to lock the door after yourself, you are almost asking to be walked in on. Just go choose one and take a piss!"
One of the gals, who also happened to be a lawyer, that was with us, overheard this exchange and, having a pretty good sense of humor, looked at my friend and said, "What's the matter? Aren't you gender secure?" She had a slight smile on her face as she said this which indicated to me she was stirring the pot.
"What do you mean?" he asked, "What's Gender Secure mean?" She replied, "So you aren't? What are you afraid of, that someone might accidently see your wiener? If you have one?"
Now my friend was sputtering and the rest of us were laughing and she looked at me and said, "Goliath, are you gender secure?"
I replied, "If I have to go bad enough I will piss in the sink behind the bar! The World is my Urinal!"
"See?" she said, motioning to my friend, "He is gender secure."
56-60, M
