48 years old trying to make friends

Most if the time I am a recluse. I have had a lot of trauma in my life. Mostly from family and the choices that I made. Now as an adult every decade or so I have tried to go out and make connections with people. When I have tried to make friends with women either they are attracted to you, or the friend zone becomes listening to what they are going through with other men and what you can fix and what you can give them and what they can borrow.
When I have tried to be friends with men they either are in a relationship and their significant other doesn’t approve. Or as this person named Bobby at IUPUI told me years ago he only wanted people around him that are doing something for themselves. What happened to just watching the game? What happened to going bowling, or just doing guy stuff.
So for a while I tapped out, but more and more I realize with as crazy as life is that you need the dynamic of friendship. Especially when you have sandpaper relationships with family. So while it is challenging i definitely have to out myself back on the market for friendship. Not the new age weird, alternative lifestyle whatever. Just socializing and being practical.